“Let your belly be full, your clothes clean, your body and head washed; enjoy yourself day and night, dance, sing and have fun; look upon the child who holds your hand, and let your wife delight in your lap! This is the destiny of mortals.”
These words from The Epic of Gilgamesh tell of the sexuality and hedonistic attitudes of the ancient Sumerians who lived in the cradle of civilization, a civilization for whom anal sex was commonplace.
Sex is, and always has been, a fascinating subject to ponder. Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself mesmerized by the various facets of the expression of love, the many ways with which we show our affection for others, and that we experience such a deep, rich feeling of affection in the first place. Why do we want the things that we want?
When we’re involved of the practice of our sexuality, we don’t tend to look at it with the objective lens that we do when we view it in the abstract, which can sometimes lead to powerful realizations about the nature of one of our most fundamental practices. Sex is hardwired into the very fabric of our being, threaded through us, and it permeates everything we do, which makes it for one very interesting study.
I’ve often wondered about why and how some sex practices came to be, and anal play is no exception. What is it that compels people to practice the types of sex habits that they do?
While anal sex has always been an extremely popular fantasy in the minds of men everywhere, it’s becoming a much more popular practice in the west, leading some to suggest its the new oral sex; anal sex is quickly becoming popular enough to be a staple in the sex lives of many bedrooms, just another facet of sexual expression thrown into the overall mix of love.
A study in 2010 showed that 46% of women had engaged in anal sex, whereas the previous study conducted in 1994 yielded just 33%, and it’s only become more popular since then.
People report a variety of reasons for desirability when it comes to anal play and anal sex, but the most common explanation is simple, that it’s just simply hot. The Grandfather of Psychology, Sigmund Freud once said that the entirety of the body is sexual, there aren’t specific parts that are, or are not, able to be sexualized. A quick perusal of a pornographic web site can attest to this fact.
Quite simply, men generally like to look at women’s butts, so it would make sense that they’d generally like to touch them as well. The anus is capable of being sexualized just as much as any of the reproductive organs, as well as other things such as breasts, feet, hair, and other parts that people seem fascinated with, in a sexual way.
Beyond the simple, seeming universal desirability of the rear end, many men report that there’s something “raw” about anal sex that isn’t quite the same in vaginal sex. There is no possibility of pregnancy resulting from anal sex, and on a deep level, this resonates with many men who consider it more carnal, just done for the sheer pleasure of it without even a hint of being something more.
Many men report the allure to be the fact that it’s considered a “forbidden fruit,” a fruit which tempts many. If a person’s body is Eden, anal play and anal sex are the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The simple fact that it’s “wrong” is a powerful motivator in the minds of many, and by wrong, I mean biologically, rather than making any moral claims here.
Intimacy is a big draw for a lot of people as well, both women and men. When it comes to the anus, there is often a sense of hesitancy and reservation that comes into play with a lot of people, and by consenting to anal play, it’s a way for many of persons to communicate to their partner that they admire all of them, every single part, and for recipients of anal play, to communicate that not a single part of their body is off-limits.
In a very real way, for some, anal sex is their way of saying, “I enjoy you so much that I want you to have all of me,” or the inverse, “I enjoy you so much that I want to have all of you — nothing disgusts me.” It’s a way of enjoying all of our partners and giving all of ourselves to our partners, and truly loving all of them, even the parts that society and the world at large considers crude.
In closing, while anal sex is still very much relegated to certain bedrooms, it’s increasing popularity among heterosexual couples is undeniable, and it’s always been popular among homosexual and other-sexual couples since the dawn of time, from Japan to ancient Greco-Roman society, and ancient Egypt too, anal sex has been a staple of the human sexuality for as long as there has been human sex, and it’s just one more way for people to show their affection in a genuine, often highly ecstatic and novel way.
For a much more in-depth reading on the subject, I suggest the following:
Disclosure: This story contains affiliate links to some pretty amazing books, indispensible reads, in my view, through which I make a commission.