#MomOps — Adventures in Middle School Valentine’s Day Anxiety.
My eldest child is in 7th grade; an age where some of her peers are getting boyfriends/girlfriends. This means that Valentine’s Day is now a source of anxiety and showiness about who gets gifts at school or not, in a popularity contest that equates gifts with worthiness or coolness.
My child self-describes as the “girl that boys do not crush on or ask out on dates”, and then darkly joked about the “forever alone” meme and how she hates valentines day.
Who hasn’t had at least one Valentine’s day like this?
So, #MomOps went into overdrive. I told her she had a choice, she could rail unsuccessfully against the commercialism of the hallmark holiday, or buy into the materialistic display of “love”… OR she can have fun making mischief while making a lot of people happy today.
Thus, we devised “Operation Secret Cupid”
First, I asked her to choose people to give secret valentine’s gifts to, anonymously. I instructed her to also think of people who she didn’t know well, but who she maybe thought had struggled with making friends or were bullied.
Then, I took her to several stores to get stuff to assemble the Secret Cupid gifts: we decided on one large card (assembled from a cool card-making kit) with a giant (six inch) yellow emoji marshmallow lollipop. :D
She stayed up late assembling all the cards, and even involved me and her dad to disguise the handwriting.
The notes read
“Happy Valentine’s Day from the Secret Cupid. I’ve noticed you all year, and finally get to set loose on this day to tell you how awesome you are!”
After that was finished, she carefully plotted and planned her morning-in-school routes so she could stealthily drop the cards/lollipops in the locker ventilation slots, including tracking down the correct locker numbers of all her Secret Cupid targets. (I think of all the steps, planning these ninja-moves was her favorite part.)
During the whole process, my daughter was SO. EXCITED. Once she got out of thinking about herself and instead focused on making the day brighter for others, she realized the value of choosing how to act and react.
#Momops moral of the story:
1) YOU choose your own value and worth, no gift and no action from anyone else should do that for you.
2) Any time you feel down, get outside of yourself to see how you can help others in their suffering. This is the quickest way to feel better.
3) If you can’t beat ’em (V-day consumerism), then join in and own it your OWN way. ❤
Happy Valentine’s Day to all, go make someone feel good today.
