5 Books to Inspire Moms Who Don’t Have Time to Write
I realized that if I kept delaying the things I wanted to do, I might never do them
As an avid reader all my life, I had long nurtured a secret fantasy to be a writer. For years, while toiling in an office at my corporate job or supervising my kids at the playground, I would daydream about writing whatever I wanted, wherever I wanted, every day.
But without fail, a mocking voice in my head would rouse me from this reverie, brutally quashing my fantasy with so-called reality checks:
“You will never make any money from writing — it is a waste of time.”
“You should be spending your spare time with your children, not selfishly pursuing something just for fun.”
“No one will ever read anything you write, so there’s no point.”
“No one gave you permission to do whatever you want!”
Giving in to the voices in my head, which seemed to know everything, I would sigh and think: “Oh well, I really don’t have time to write anyway.”
But, after I turned 40 and my children became less dependent, I realized that if I kept delaying the things I wanted to do, I might never do them. I decided I would write something: a screenplay, a series of essays, or — gasp —perhaps even a book? I didn’t know what it would be, but I was determined to start. And now, six years later, my first book, a memoir, is complete.
How did I go from being cowed into inaction by the negative voices in my mind to writing an entire book? First, I reminded myself that writing anything — even just a few words or sentences a day — was achieving something, even if it seemed inconsequential. I visualized a jar filling up with pebbles, and I approached writing that way: doing a little, often. And, of course, I turned to my old friends, books, for advice.
If you have entertained fantasies of writing a book as I have, or want to begin a writing practice simply for the pleasure of it, here are five books to inspire, delight, and instruct you:
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
As the famous quote by Henry Van Dyke goes: “The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those who sang best.” Bird by Bird is beloved by professional and amateur writers alike for its tips on writing and life, delivered in Lamott’s kind and nurturing tone. Lamott covers everything an aspiring (or accomplished) writer needs to know, from practical tips (like writing every day and the importance of shitty first drafts) to dealing with perfectionism and the noisy, negative voice in your head. Most of all, Lamott emphasizes the importance of writing for writing’s sake — for the truth and love of it, for the meaning and joy it brings — and not in pursuit of fame and fortune.
The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron
If you are the type who needs the structure of an established program, I highly recommend The Artist’s Way. Maybe you read this in college — or your hippy friend did, and you decided it wasn’t for you — please keep an open mind and try it again! The exercise of writing down the “blurts” or negative thoughts that keep you from exploring your innate creativity is powerful; and at the very least, the practice of “The Morning Pages” (writing three pages of long-hand first thing each day) which Ms. Cameron describes at the beginning of the book, is a wonderful way to begin writing regularly.
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
I am not necessarily a fan of King’s thrillers, but I love this book: it is beautifully written and honest. I don’t know about you, but I often worry that the ways my children spend their free time seem wasteful and silly. Furthermore, I have internalized the belief that I should be “modeling” behavior that is productive and useful. One of the most fascinating parts of King’s story is that he turned his childhood passion for sneaking to the local cinema to watch horror films (which I am guessing his parents bemoaned!) into a wildly successful career. Reading King’s book reminded me that the things we do purely for joy can lead to careers and lives that are wildly satisfying — and maybe even lucrative.
Home Cooking: A Writer in the Kitchen by Laurie Colwin
This is not a book about writing per se — it’s about cooking and homemaking and life — but Colwin is such a delightful writer and person that I adore spending time in her world. I often notice that cooking and entertaining seem integral in the lives of many writers, and I find that inhabiting Colwin’s home and kitchen inspires me to write. Before her untimely death at age 48 in 1992, Colwin also wrote novels. Family Happiness and Happy all the Time are both wonderful chronicles of polite Manhattan society in the 1980s and 1990s.
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
I’m aware that there has been some controversy about Gilbert in the years since her blockbuster bestseller, Eat Pray Love, but I found this book to be a gem. Similar to Bird by Bird, there is some practical writing advice, but I like the book for its unabashed promotion of the pleasure that is derived from creative enterprises. Gilbert is honest about the fact that attaining her level of success and fame is highly unusual and unlikely; but implores readers to live a creative life — which she defines as finding time (it doesn’t have to be your entire career) to do what you love — no matter what anyone thinks or says.
(If you really don’t like Elizabeth Gilbert, you can read anything by Nora Ephron! For me, Ephron is the quintessential writer; an unmatched practioner of humor, pathos, and truth. From Heartburn to Crazy Salad to I Feel Bad About My Neck and I Remember Nothing, you can’t go wrong. Inhale Nora and exhale your own words, stories, thoughts, and feelings.)
Happy writing!
Amelia Wilson is an Australia-born, New York-based writer. Endlessly curious about our search for meaning, purpose and happiness. Author of forthcoming memoir, The Only Way Out is Through.
