Active Empathy, Honey Toast for the Soul, Eighties Dance Parties, and More!
Your weekly roundup from the editors of Moms Don’t Have Time to Write
Welcome back to another edition of One Last Thing, the newsletter from Moms Don’t Have Time to Write, taking a look at the stories, columns, and advice from the week that was.
In this week’s grief column, Melissa Uchiyama grapples with both the sadness she feels after her miscarriages and the gratitude she has for her living children. The unconditional love her kids show her on a daily basis has offered some reprieve. As Melissa writes, “To be fed honey toast in bed by my kids, to receive cards that acknowledge something is gone, even if they don’t quite understand what it is. Grief is still here, but so is the gentle coaxing called love.”
Eleven years ago, Rachel Levy Lesser’s son came home from school with a shirt that read “Class of 2022,” she couldn’t imagine that year would ever arrive. As Rachel explains, “I really tried to hear the wise older moms who told me that the days would go by slowly but the years would go by fast. However, this time with my kids seemed like it would last forever.” Now, as he heads out into adulthood, Rachel reflects on all the things she wished she had done with him over the last eighteen years.
On the intimate side of life, our resident sex educator, Tracey Cox, tackles your pressing questions about breaking up with a long-term partner, how to try roleplaying even when thinking about it fills you with dread, and the right number of times to have sex with your spouse each week.
Bob Saul reflects on some of the lessons he’s taken away from Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste: The Origins of our Discontents, notably those he learned about empathy. Bob shares his new checklist for how he plans to actively practice compassion for others and writes, “I have to use my own strengths and weaknesses to reach out, gently peek behind the curtain, be humble, and actively pursue a course of active engagement.”
In this week’s Friday Feature, Anne Zimmerman shares a new tradition her family adopted in the midst of the pandemic: Eighties Night. After reflecting on her own childhood, Anne writes that she “was drawn to ‘1980s meals’ today for the same reason the women of the 80s were: convenience, ease, and the revelation that not every meal had to be nutritionally superior, recipe-driven, and photo-ready.” Her family received the break from routine with open arms…and extensive dance parties.
And finally, for those of you who need a touch of encouragement this weekend, read Jenny Pentland’s advice in our Wake Up and Write column. Jenny very candidly and earnestly advises: “If you’re going to write a memoir, it’s probably because you’re trying to process some stuff. Just make sure that you set yourself up for being able to process that. Have somebody help you emotionally through it. Just do it. Also, don’t do it.”
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Warmly,
The Editors