Advice for My Daughter on Her Move to New York City
A poetic approach to counteracting big-city loneliness.
Dear Gabi,
First, find a deli that you can visit every week, on the same day, preferably. And always order the same thing — a half-pound of pastrami, a quarter-pound of lacy Swiss, maybe chorizo.
Whatever you order, make it distinct, so the butcher will know you when you come back. Maybe not the second week, maybe not even the third. But soon, soon, he’ll start saying, “Hey, you want the usual.” And you’ll respond, “Yeah, the usual.”
Next, find a nice little community bank and open an account. Then, every Friday, go to the same teller — you know, the one with the curly black hair, the long painted fingernails, the big personality — the one who probably does stand-up on weekends. Go to her every time. Wait extra long in her line if necessary for that colossal laugh whenever you make a joke.
Last, and most importantly, find a bakery. Not one of those froufrou artisanal cupcake places, but an honest-to-God bakery with loaves of pumpernickel and salted rye and sourdough. Go there every morning. Yes, every morning (at least at the start). And every morning, order a chocolate croissant and a coffee. Or maybe a glazed doughnut. But coffee, always coffee. By day three, they’ll know your name. And you’ll know theirs. And you’ll start to feel the familiar all around you. And you won’t feel so lonely.
And the chocolate doughnut and the coffee will taste so good.
Karin B. Miller is an award-winning writer and editor. She is the coauthor of Laundry Love: Finding Joy in a Common Chore. She also created and edited two national anthologies, The Cancer Poetry Project 1 & 2. She lives with her family in Minneapolis.
