How Reading Memoirs Eased My Career Anxiety
I ordered a stack of books to gain clarity and recharge my mind
Roughly one year ago, on the brink of the pandemic and subsequent lockdown, I was feeling depressed, like the rest of the world. The event triggered anxiety I had never experienced before. There were daily panic attacks, insomnia, and a constant, inescapable feeling that this was how life was going to be until things got back to “normal” — whatever that would look like.
The ambient fear and foreboding stemmed from the uncertainty of the future, but beneath that was something I had been avoiding long before the Covid news broke: The feeling of inadequacy as a writer, and as a working professional in general.
Once I realized that sitting on the couch, sulking, and feeling sorry for myself weren’t going to turn me into the world’s next Anna Wintour, I turned to the safest, most reliable source that I could think of, the counsel I seek in all moments of adversity: books.
I have always been drawn to books. The look, feel, and smell of them, and the magic they contain. Books are more than an escape or relaxing hobby — they’re therapy. In my pursuit of healing, I ordered a bundle of self-improvement books, novels, and memoirs to gain clarity and recharge my mind.
While each genre delivered its own helpful insight, memoirs were my saving grace, breathing new life into my soul. The authors’ personal stories of struggle and success granted a much-needed fresh perspective to my career direction, and motivated me to engineer the life I wanted to live.
I turned to the safest, most reliable source that I could think of: books.
Once the anxiety started to abate, I became a self-improvement addict — upping my cooking game and fitness regimen, and prioritizing my relationships with the people I love most. I wrote down positive affirmations on a bright pink piece of construction paper, taped it to my bathroom mirror, and recited them every morning, afternoon, and evening:
“I deserve happiness. I will feel proud of myself today. I am a great writer.”
I took a workshop on how to launch a successful clothing brand to jumpstart my business acumen and build the foundation of my future clothing line, unknowingly rebuilding my confidence in the process. I started a mental-health newsletter to spread awareness on the importance of women’s mindset health, interviewing women on how they overcome common feelings of stress, worry, anxiety, and depression.
And yet, none of this would have been possible if I didn’t have the good sense to start reading again.
In the spirit of sharing, here is a list of the memoirs that comforted me during my time of crippling self-doubt.
I hope they will grant the inspiration needed to pursue your creative goals, much in the way they helped me.
Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life by Gisele Bündchen
The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work and Life by Jen Gotch
Idiot: Life Stories from the Creator of Help Helen Smash by Laura Clery
Naturally Tan: A Memoir by Tan France
Ashley Alt is a Connecticut-based writer specializing in mental health, wellness, and fashion. She is currently working on a memoir about the motherhood identity crisis. She has a 5-year-old son with a baby girl on the way.
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