The Truth Lies in the Middle
Former linebacker and current Fox Sports analyst Emmanuel Acho discusses his new book, adapted from his video series
Before he was the host of the honest and highly engaging digital series Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, Emmanuel Acho didn’t necessarily think of himself as an activist.
The galvanizing moment came in May of last year, when he saw the brutal killing of George Floyd, alongside the rest of the country, and was moved to contribute something productive to the national discourse.
Acho recently joined Zibby Owens on her podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books to discuss the circumstances that led to his series, and how it eventually evolved into a book in order to continue the dialogue. As he says, conversation and compromise are our best shot at enacting meaningful change.
Read an excerpt below and follow the link to listen to the entire interview.
ZO: Take me back to when you decided to start the video series Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, and how it transitioned to a book.
EA: After the murder of George Floyd, I thought, What do I do? I have to do something. I’m a sports analyst, but I’m a Black man before a sports analyst. And, before the world acknowledged me as a Black man, I’m a human being. It’s my responsibility to positively contribute to society in some way, shape, or form.
I’m a gifted orator, to a degree. I can speak. Initially, I thought I was going to start something called “Questions White People Have.” I grew up in an affluent neighborhood in Dallas, Texas, and went to a mostly white, private school. I knew my white brothers and sisters had questions but they didn’t have answers because they’d never actually asked. I’d just heard the murmurs and the whispers.
Great, I thought: I’ll get three white people and three Black people together. We’ll sit around the table, fishbowl in the middle of it. My white brothers and sisters will pull out a question. They’ll ask the Black people at the table and we’ll have a conversation.
Problem: we were in the middle of a pandemic. Nobody could travel. Now what do I do? I called one of my white friends who can come down from Dallas to Austin, Texas. She said, “Emmanuel, if I’m going to be there for you. I have to show up.”
She came on Saturday. We’re supposed to record on Sunday. Long story short, she had a change of heart. I thought I’d have to do it myself, but I didn’t want to. I called another white friend last minute and said, “Hey, can you stand in and ask me these questions? I’ll answer them.” Remember, it’s Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, not Uncomfortable Monologue with a Black Man.
ZO: The book is so much more than just a continuation of the videos. This is a history book. How much did you research?
EA: I didn’t want it to be a regurgitation of the show episodes. I wanted the book to be both accurate and feel complete, and I wanted to give people a ton of information.
Here is something I’ve had a challenge with: We learn our history too young in America. I was taught about the Civil War before I cared about the Civil War. Don’t teach me about the Civil War when I’m eleven-years-old and I can’t even spell yet. Don’t teach me about the judicial system. Don’t teach me about the Three-fifths Compromise. Don’t teach me about things that have to do with my identity before I know my identity.
When I was researching all this information as I was writing the book, I realized we often have this notion in our head that history is boring. But all you have to do is watch the Hamilton musical and you’ll rethink that. We simply learn it too early.
As I was writing, I found so much of this material interesting. You have to know your past to know your future. You have to know where you came from to know where you’re going. I think we have to do a better job of knowing where we came from.
ZO: You once asked the question: “Do you think we’ll ever get to a place where a young Black child could look to the police as a safe haven?” The answer was sort of up in the air. What do you believe is the potential for change? Do you think that the right people are listening? Do you think people can change?
EA: Here’s what we first have to understand: There are people on extreme sides. Some of my Black brothers and sisters feel that they resent white people because of our history, and could never forgive them. Then there are white people who feel that racism doesn’t exist, that Black people just need to get over it, that things have been equal for fifty years now, and that there’s not a problem. We have to move off those fences.
We all have to get away from our sides and move towards the middle, because the truth lies in the middle. The truth of most arguments lies in the middle. It doesn’t hover at the extremes. How can we move forward as a country, as a world, as a nation? We have to have real dialogue. The biggest thing for me, and also the simplest, is conversation. I was talking to a group of police officers for my latest episode; it’s a group of twenty-five, predominately white, police officers in Northern California, in a town with a population of sixty thousand that’s less than one percent Black.
My first question was: “When was the last time you had dinner, or a conversation, with a group of Black people?”
Two officers said, “Honestly, Emmanuel, we never have.”
I don’t think it’s malicious. You have to understand, if you’re not going to expose yourself to a group of people that don’t look like you, don’t sound like you, aren’t cultured like you are, then how do you expect to interact with them?
I went to an all-boys preparatory school. I didn’t have girls in my classes from fifth to twelfth grade. There are some perks to that. You don’t have to worry about wearing cologne and looking good and all that other stuff, but there are also some negatives. When I got to college, I thought: there are women here, what do I do? I had to learn and relearn how to navigate, how to act, how to be. Don’t be so aggressive. Don’t be so hostile. Don’t be so curt. I had to learn some things because I hadn’t been exposed on a daily basis to a large subgroup of people.
I think that’s what we have to do to become better as a nation. We have to have real conversations.
