Accepting God’s Gifts and Seeing the Positives
I got emotional today. I went to the doctor for an evaluation for cataract surgery and I left crying. I sat in the office and was anywhere between 10–30 years younger than most people sitting in the room waiting. So that started my grumpy. I found out after my retina detachment that it isn’t unusual to have a cataract within five years of the issue because of scar tissue. Well, cue 1 year later and it’s time! The vision in my left eye is compromised by a cataract.
As I met with the doctor he mentioned that I have one in the right eye as well, and asked if I wanted to have that one removed. It seems like a good idea to take care of it before it becomes an eyesight problem, so in March I’ll have the two surgeries two weeks apart. I’m not a candidate for corrective eye surgery due to the retina detachment, so I’ll have to wear glasses after the surgeries. And my up close vision will be impacted. As I left, I started crying. Instead of being grateful for the fact that there is something that is being done to improve my eyesight, I was focusing on the negatives.
I don’t know why I felt so emotional, I think it just felt like I had to make a lot of big decisions in a 5-minute window. I think I was mourning the good eyesight I had for so many years before the detached retina. The whole experience made me grumpy. And then I started reprimanding myself for my bad attitude and inability to see the gift these surgeries will bring.
How often do I take God’s overwhelmingly good gifts for granted because of small sidebar issues that might come along with the gift? Oh what an ungrateful heart I can have! If I ignore these cataracts, I would probably continue to have more and more problems seeing with or without glasses. Through this entire eye experience, God has shown me just how often I don’t focus on the blessings right in front of me because I take them for granted or don’t think they are “good enough.”
As I sat at home this afternoon, my attitude reminded me of a child that wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner even though her momma has made a huge homecooked meal. God, don’t let me settle for PBJ when you offer me fried chicken and all the fixings. Give me the wisdom and discernment to see the blessings. Don’t allow my stubbornness to cause me to have to learn things the hard way. I want to be a glass-half-full girl in the midst of trials, not after hindsight. Thank you, God, that I live in a time where cataract surgeries are routine. Thank you, God, that I live in a place where cataract surgeries are available. Thank you, God, that I live in a time when cataract surgeries are almost always a successful endeavor for the patient. Thank you, God, for opening my eyes to see your gifts.
