In Fierce Grace
The virgin’s sacrifice of ancient civilizations may be seen as the sacrifice of innocence. To be recognized and understood for its promise and potential, it has to be lost, betrayed, abandoned. The virgin’s innocence is a metaphor for the unblemished promise and potential of the dream we had been born to pursue. To understand its promise and potential we have to wake up and realize the discrepancy between the reality we are facing and the promise of the dream that has brought us here …
The idea of being born as sinners entails that we are asked to make true of the dream that we have inherited from our ancestors and which they had abandoned and betrayed. This dream cannot be limited to our ancestors’ idea and visualization, just as God cannot be represented by name, image or words. God is the light of truth that emerges from the sacrifices that I bring in my pursuit of living to the full of my potential. The flame of truth is as bright and fierce as I dare make it by sacrificing everything that encumbers me in the pursuit of my dream …
“The Angel, when he feels the tendons of his opponent straining like strings in his grip, plays on them the song of his own invincibility. A man defeated by the Angel who so often refuses to be challenged, he may walk proud and erect, emerging strong from hands even stronger and harder than himself; hands he has been deemed worthy to be molded by. Victory can’t tempt such a man. He won’t grow but in defeat to Him who is taller and stronger than himself. That is what he is looking for …” ( Rilke: Der Schauende / The Visionary )
Truth cannot be found in words or trapped in a formula. It is the flame that consumes me mind, matter and dreams. It is not static but liquid and evanescent. Born from the eternal conflict between opposites, it lights up the night of human existence as we struggle with the dark matter and ego’s attachments to what inhibits our advancement. It is the result of what I make happen in my pursuit to be true to my potentials. The pursuit of happiness will create a pale and timid light that may perhaps illuminate your front porch. Fulfillment is found in the beyond of happiness as I strive to overcome reality and live to the full range of my potentials, reaching beyond my limitations in an unrelenting struggle, advancing from one challenge to the next as life and nature do …
The Bhagavad Gita deals with the internal conflict that Arjuna, the disowned and rightful heir of the king, faces on the eve of the battle against his brother who took the throne and kingdom that was rightfully Arjuna’s. Arjuna is torn between obeying the laws of his ancestors on the one hand, and meeting his obligations as heir and ruler of the kingdom. God Vishnu advises Arjuna that his foremost duty is to do justice to his obligations as ruler and king and thus maintain the natural order. In doing so he will have to violate his obligations to family and ancestors. What is not mentioned explicitly but implied: by violating the natural order, the family members have brought upon themselves the grief and suffering that will ensue from the battle. Their reason for usurping the throne was personal gain, not the welfare of the people and kingdom …
In a book on the teachings of Zen master Shunryu Suzuki, he tells his students to think of a tree in the wood and of the wind blowing. And he points out that actually there is only the tree and the wind. The sound that we hear as the wind passes through the leaves is our personal perception, and it is alive in me as the observer but nowhere else. Yet it is not part of me, nor of the tree, the wind or the leaves …
Reality is the product of a conscious self interacting with its environment. The perception is created in the self’s mind, it is not part of the self, nor of the environment or of any other observer. Reality is the result of getting involved, but only as an evanescent impression. Likewise we may conceive of truth as the flame that is born from my interactions with reality as I pursue my dream of living to the full of my potential. The more I demand the more I will have to sacrifice, but the brighter the flame will shine. Truth is the result of what I allow and what I sacrifice to make it happen …
