Oh, 2013

It’s been a while since I last blogged (and this is really becoming a habit I need to stop). I just sometimes don’t have the inspiration to write posts anymore. I do keep a journal though, but it’s just full of random thoughts going inside my head. Anyway, this is my first post since 2013 ended and I feel like I need to take a look back at what happened to myself the past year.

2013 has been a really tough year for me. I say it’s one of the toughest I’ve had — heck, it could even be the toughest. I was at my weakest at the early months of 2013 because of what happened at 2012 during my stay at Miriam C0llege. There were nights that I just want everything to end because I felt like my life is over. I felt more alone than ever and I didn’t know if I could still push through with life. There were nights that I’d just cry myself to sleep because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I was (or am) afraid of what lies in the future. And all of that made me change the way I am. I don’t know if it was for the better or the worse, maybe both. 2013 has been a year of transformation for me. A year of acceptance. My outlook in life changed, I see things differently than before. I’ve become even more of a nonconformist than ever. That one year of being almost always alone with my thoughts made me know myself more — my strengths and weaknesses. I wouldn’t say that 2013 has been all bad. It was also pretty great. I experienced a lot of things I never thought I would experience this soon in life. Sometimes, I just like to think that that was a blessing in disguise.

Anyway, yeah, I hope 2014 will be a much better year. Yes, I am still afraid of the consequences, of my future. But I’ll live my life. I don’t really have any NY resolutions. I only have one goal for this year. Live my life. My wings have been clipped ever since. I was never truly free and I would like that to change this year. I want to live my life and not let anyone live it for me.

I’ll just end this from a post by Oliver Emberton: Life is a game. This is your strategy guide.

At the start of the game, you had no control over who you were or your environment. By the end of the game that becomes true again. Your past decisions drastically shape where you end up, and if you’re happy, healthy, fulfilled — or not — in your final days there’s far less you can do about it.

That’s why your strategy is important. Because by the time most of us have figured life out, we’ve used up too much of the best parts.

PS: My blog needs a new look.