Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude
Although I grew up in a great home, gratitude was not really “practiced.” Sure, we said “please” and “thank you,” but we did not make a regular practice of gratitude and truly being thankful for the countless gifts and blessings we had. Frankly, I probably wallowed a lot in negative things like not being tall enough, always getting sick with asthma or not having a TV in my room (although eventually I got one!). Over the last 10 years though, I have learned through both study and practical application that an “attitude of gratitude” is the quickest way to hack yourself to happiness and, ultimately, success.
Several events in the last few weeks have brought gratitude to the forefront of my mind, including the terrorist attacks in Paris (always reminds me of 9/11), Veterans Day, my parents being incredibly helpful this weekend and Mitzvah Day at my synagogue (when community groups undertake a range of volunteer projects for those in need in their local community). And given that this is Thanksgiving week, I figured what better time to talk about gratitude. I also wanted to send a huge thank you to all those at Learning House who give their heart and soul every day to making this company successful!
The Benefits of Gratitude
Emotional benefits. Gratitude strengthens our emotions and makes us happier. I practice gratitude daily with the Five Minute Journal, which asks me to identify three things for which I am grateful. Although I don’t have the science to back this up (yet), since I began this practice a year ago, I know I am happier. I start the day in a positive state because I focus on everything from sleeping in a warm bed to having a great job to having an amazing family. It’s impossible for me to remain negative when I focus on all the blessings in my life. And when I am going through a rough patch, such as an illness or challenges at work, I “double down” on gratitude and it helps me get through a difficult time. Other benefits of practicing gratitude include:
- Resiliency. I find that I bounce back more quickly when regularly practicing gratitude. A great example of this was during my Ironman training when I kept getting injured. Even though the injuries were painful and frustrating, I focused on what was going right.
- Reducing feelings of envy. Envy produces feelings of insecurity, materialism, inferiority, distrust and unhappiness. When practicing gratitude, envy “sort of” melts away.
Social benefits. Gratitude makes people like us. This may sound a bit narcissistic and not a true reason for practicing gratitude, but there is no doubt that when you show up practicing authentic gratitude towards your family, peers and fellow citizens, you become a magnet for people in your life. I have seen a lot of benefits from practicing gratitude, including improving my marriage, deepening my relationships and making new friends who inspire and motivate me. Who does not want to hang around a person who is grateful being with and around you?
Health benefits. Gratitude makes us healthier. As I am writing this story this morning, NPR has a story on reducing heart disease (and, in effect, stress) by practicing gratitude. Coincidence? The professor interviewed from the University of California San Diego School of Medicine did extensive studies on gratitude and discovered that the more grateful you were, the healthier you were, with increased energy levels and a longer life span. Personally, my health has improved in many ways from practicing gratitude. For starters, my sleep quality is great. By focusing on what made today great and what I am grateful for, I am able to calm myself and go to sleep in a matter of minutes, if not seconds. It’s rare I don’t have a good night of sleep, even with my 5 a.m. wake-up calls!
Career benefits. Gratitude boosts our career. Even as we strive for excellence and push ourselves and each other, practicing gratitude with your teams can be a highly effective way to win trust and be a better manager. Criticism comes very easily to those in management positions (yours truly not excluded). We constantly see things that are wrong and our favorite word becomes “feedback.” But contrary to popular wisdom, if praise is moderate and behavior-focused, repeated expressions of gratitude will not lose their impact, and employee performance will increase. The biggest benefit for your career, I find, is increasing productivity. Earlier in my career, when I was way more insecure, I had difficulty focusing because many of my mental resources were tied up with worries. By focusing instead on what I am grateful for, I can see the bigger picture and solve problems more easily.
Personality benefits. Gratitude develops our personality and makes us more optimistic, reduces materialism, increases spirituality, makes us less self-centered and increases self-esteem. When I am practicing gratitude, it really is incredible how optimistic and “deep” I become. I am not focused on any material things at all, nor am I thinking about myself. Instead, practicing gratitude sends a positive emotion to other people, places and things.
Practicing Gratitude for You
Gratitude is not a cure-all, but it is a significantly underutilized tool for improving satisfaction and happiness. A big part of our core value of celebration is about practicing gratitude. One thing I have discovered (and the upcoming Star Wars movie has reminded me of) is that negative emotions like anxiety, stress, blame and envy (the dark side) cannot survive when practicing gratitude (the light side). So, on this week of Thanksgiving, I want you all to know how thankful I am for all the work you do each and every day to make our clients and their students as successful as possible. Thank you!
