Finding the Abundance in Life
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo.
From the movie The Three Amigos
In high school, I had a great group of friends. We regularly shared information with each other (perhaps too much at times) and helped each other study. It was fun, we all did well, and in the end we got good grades and got into good colleges; we helped each other get good outcomes all around. I didn’t know it at the time, but we were practicing abundant thinking.
When I arrived at college, I was not prepared for what was to come. Like many freshmen in my class, I took macroeconomics in my first semester; I was good at math, and I thought it’d be a breeze. On our first day, I learned that the professor graded on a curve; that is, the professor used the average score for an assignment as an average grade (typically a B- or C+) and graded everyone else relative to that score, so that all scores fell on a bell curve. As you might expect, this didn’t exactly foster a spirit of collaboration in the class. After all, if one person does really well in such a grading system, it raises the average score, causing everyone to do a little bit worse by comparison.
Being used to collaboration and sharing, I reached out to my fellow students, hoping to cooperate with them. It did not go well. I eventually adapted which, in this case, shifted my mindset toward scarcity thinking.
It’s 20 years later and I’ve concluded that, while I regularly demonstrate both types of thinking, a scarcity mindset simply isn’t useful. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about scarcity: “Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit — even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.”
Abundance takes more of a big picture view of life: “The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.”
Ten Ways to Find Abundance
There are several ways you can demonstrate an abundance mindset.
Make sharing a habit
Most parents tell our kids to share what they have with others, and we’re often excited and proud when they share their toys with others on their own. The instinct to hoard things for ourselves is just as strong in adults as it is in kids, though. The difference is that we should know better. Sharing has a number of benefits and few downsides. It makes us feel good to share with others. When someone else benefits from my generosity, I get a little surge of satisfaction. If we cultivate a habit of sharing, we quickly realize we don’t really “need” the things we thought we so desperately needed. Sharing also inspires others to share. They might feel inspired to pay you back, or to pay it forward to someone else.
Default to trust
If your natural instinct is to assume the worst, that’s probably what you’ll get. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. Some might consider this mentality a bit naïve, but I find that going into a situation in a mindful way prevents anyone from being taken advantage of or being saddled with too much responsibility.
Realize life isn’t a competition
Any business has competitors: other businesses that target the same audience. An abundance thinker understands that there’s plenty to go around, though. At Learning House, we watch the competition closely. Sometimes it might seem like we lose an opportunity to a competitor, but I try to see it as a great learning experience. The truth is that there’s plenty for all of us; anyone who knows how can catch one of the many fish in the sea.
Seek out win-win situations
In a scarcity mindset, if you win, I automatically lose. At Learning House, we prefer to see it as a win-win-win-win scenario. When we provide great outcomes, the student wins by becoming more educated, getting access to job opportunities, and growing as a person. The school wins because they have successful students (customers) in the world acting as evangelists for their institution. We win and grow, as our partnerships with schools continue to evolve and thrive. And society wins by getting access to a more educated workforce, which ultimately helps everybody.
Learn from failures
Sometimes life deals you a bad hand. My family and I recently watched the movie Rudy. We enjoyed the movie a lot, and it’s a great example of someone using adversity as a learning experience. Every time Rudy was knocked down by life, he just got right back up. He learned from his failures and kept on going. When I fail, I try to look at why I failed and what I could do to prevent something similar in the future. Whenever you’re faced with a setback, there’s almost always something to learn from it.
Stop comparing yourself to others
This is one that I still struggle with. The idea of “keeping up with the Joneses” permeates our culture. No matter what sport, academic pursuit, or career I’ve gone after, I’ve almost always found someone who seemed to be doing better than me. It’s often hard not to compare yourself to others, and it can be demoralizing to think you’ll never get to where they are. More recently, I’ve worked to vary my approach to this phenomenon. The pursuit of completing an Ironman really helped me with this. It took me over ten years and countless injuries and other setbacks to get there. Eventually, it became clear I was never going to win an Ironman race, but it became more about finishing, and pushing to do better. Instead of worrying about coming in first, I worried about doing better than last time. Instead of comparing myself to others, I tried to compare myself to my own past performance to measure improvement.
Practice daily gratitude
Over a year ago, I started using an exercise called The Five Minute Journal. The exercise asks you in the morning what three things you’re grateful for, and in the evening it asks you for three amazing things that happened that day. It’s astounding how many things there are to be grateful for. I’m frequently grateful for the countless people who make my life easier every day. I particularly like to do this exercise when things are tough; it’s a good reminder that the glass is half full, not half empty.
Celebrate others’ successes
When someone believes that there’s plenty more where that came from, celebrating other people’s successes just makes sense. When tennis player Novak Djokovic lost to Stan Wawrinka in the 2016 U.S. Open final, he was clearly upset. But he was also happy for his friend, who had just achieved something incredible. I like to think that Djokovic knew that he’d have other opportunities to prove himself, and that this was Wawrinka’s.
Reduce media consumption
Advertising’s goal is to make you think that you need something you don’t have. This tactic preys upon a scarcity mindset — I don’t have that Mercedes, but I must have it. Social media, such as Facebook, can reinforce these kinds of notions. Spending a lot of time on social media can expose you to a litany of vacation photos, new houses, weddings, and other positive life events. While this might seem great on its surface, it can be a little demoralizing over time if you’re in the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Understand the best is yet to come
In the song “Young Forever” by Jay Z, Mr. Hudson uses this lyric early on: “May the best of your todays/Be the worst of your tomorrows.” The message here is that your best days are yet to come. Life is better when you’re always looking for opportunities, because you know they’re just around the corner.
How do you find the abundance in life?
