Just Keep Swimming
When life gets you down do you know what you’ve gotta do? Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
I love the ocean. I love to swim and I am never afraid of swimming deeper. But sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning. In real life. Not much of swimmer now ey, are you darling? I hear that disgusting voice taunt me at the back of my head. I squint and mentally yell at it to zip it. Not so funny having voices in your mind that arise every now and then, believe me.
Still, I try to ignore it, answer every sarcastic comment of theirs with a snarl of my own. But sometimes, you just drown. There is no way around it. Pressure increases, pushing against every inch of our tiny bodies, and way down we go. If this never happened to you, well, perhaps aliens are real and you’re the proof.
“It’s the ocean, silly, we’re not the only two in here.”
-Dory
It is worth mentioning that I am not talking about the constant drowning some of us go through as a result of anxiety or depression. I am talking about the occasional (albeit more occasional than we’d like) sort of drowning we feel from daily stress or an occurrence of certain events. The suffocating kind.
On reflex, we tend to push against the water invading us. Breathing attempts inevitably fail, and we fight tooth and nail to get out, throwing our limbs fiercely and randomly around. I need up. I need out.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Relax. Take a deep breath.”
-Dory
This is where the fun part starts. Once I realize that all my efforts are in vain, I search for an alternative. I accept the fact that I am drowning and decide to find distractions that will allow me to forget the filthy sea hugging me Distraction, it appears, has became my new favorite hobby.
Doing anything but focusing on the issue at hand is a talent I have acquired. A friend once argued with me that all those distractions I am carrying only weigh me down, bringing me even lower into deep, hot waters. I told him that’s the only way I could breath underwater.
The more I went with my own distractions, the more I was able to pick up on others’ distraction methods. While I was by no means self-destructive, I was on its edge, shyly flirting with the path that’ll take me into a doomed rabbit hole. A rabbit hole underwater? Alice could never!
This worked out well for a while. But, as you might have guessed, there’s only so much one can bottle up before exploding. I became a hazard to be around. I could go off any minute. I’ll be laughing for weeks, and then, one miserable day, I just go boom! I’d scream at the slightest of reasons, pick up fights, and, well, I’ll let you can imagine…
“ And welcome to the Marine Life Institute… Where we believe in rescue, rehabilitation and release.”
-Sigourney Weaver.
Escaping was never the solution. Swimming through is. When you feel like you’re drowning, swim through the waters, don’t stumble out. My friend Dory said it best;
“When life gets you down do you know what you’ve gotta do? Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”
I know this now. I am not the best swimmer, but I try to be. I try to face matters rather than turn a blind eye. My unexpected tantrums have caused me friendships and special moments that I’ll regret forever. It is difficult, but I try to keep swimming. And I think you should too. Just like my friend Dory said.
