Shark Tank
Beware, they said, do not trust other for others will forever betray you. I call cap on that!
I had a friend (who is no longer a friend, thankfully) who constantly told me not to trust people. She emphasized on how everyone was out for blood, and how, except your parents, friends and other people you love will always leave you. Was that a massive red flag and I should’ve dumped her the second she said that? Yes, it was and I should’ve. Did I stick around while she repeatedly sang this lullaby of hers, and did I still trust her? Yes, I did.
Though I believe this person broke something in me through her senseless talk, I refuse to fully give in. She painted the world as a blue ocean where people are either sharks or droplets of blood. A dog eat dog world. Or, in this case, a shark tank we are comfortably diving into. I wish I’d asked her who hurt you? and why are you projecting that much? back then. It would’ve saved me so much time.
I remember merely arguing and deciding to blame the rough environment she lived in. Nevertheless, as time went by, I felt myself agreeing with her on several occasions. I built walls and pushed people away for fear they might leave too (because as the years went by, many did). Today, I acknowledge my combination of attachment and abandonment issues. Still, I cannot say it is a weak spot of mine. All it does is give my life a bit of a bitter, poisonous taste because I can never enjoy a moment to its fullest.
From there, it only goes downhill. Walls high, emotions higher. If the people I love don’t leave then I’d push them away, and if, by some miracle, I came across someone who managed to bring down a single brick, and then they left, I’ll be absolutely devastated. That moron friend was not so moron after all, now was she? I’d think to myself.
It pains me that I agreed with her countless times. People leave. It is what it is. True that some might drop in only to use us then disappear, others only to give us marvelous memories we can marinate in, then disappear. Some only bring pain and heartache (and I mean the physical clenching and unclenching of your heart) but we have a hard time letting go of them. All that? It’s perfectly fine.
I came to understand that, no matter how wounding and cruel loved ones walking out on us might be, it by no means implies that everyone who walks into our lives is on a mission to ruin us. People are not inherently bad. Nor are we genetically programmed to be pure evil. It is our choice to see the darkness or the goodness in others, and an even bigger choice to either bring out the best or worst in them.
Today, I am positive my former friend chose not to trust people because she only saw darkness. As amazing and talented as she was, she could’ve used a shoulder to lean on, but she refused to give herself this privilege. And, best part? it’s her decision. I admit that she’s been missing out, and because I was an unconsciously influenced, I began to think like her.
I am grateful for the friends I have right this moment. A bunch of talented, outspoken, cheerful idiots. I cherish every single moment with them even the bad ones where we are crying together or screaming at each other. Moral of the story: See the good in people and good will come to you. Also, don’t give people senseless advices that will ruin their lives, thank you very much.
