I’m Now Respecting My Own Space for a Unique Growth Pace
I am learning that strength starts from being vulnerable.
I no longer feel entitled to invite everyone into my space, nor to keep up with other people’s diversified paces of growth.
I am learning to not anymore be affected by the things that used to matter so much to my heart but are no longer serving me. I am beginning to let go of the people who used to mean everything to me but are already limiting my growth. I am now voluntarily walking away from the toxic situations that deceived me into believing that my worth is defined by the way by which others see me, or even worse, by the way by which I am being treated.
I am not anymore allowing myself to be a victim of the things I cannot control and of the people I cannot change, by altering the way I feel, think, and act on them.
I do not feel compelled anymore to meet other people’s standards in terms of my pace of growth. Because I now know that all of us are ahead and left behind in our own ways. None of us has ever perfectly evolved towards all the learning curves and it is by realizing this, that we begin to embrace differences. I am aware that my growth is nobody’s business except for myself, but I am no longer scared of unveiling my vulnerability — of sharing my true story and of admitting how much healing I actually need.
I am starting to accept that it’s always okay to not be at my best when I am not yet done healing.
I am no longer forcing myself to be strong nor to give my best when I am hitting rock bottom. I am no longer scared of my own woundedness because the healing processes from all these wounds are the ones that weave my authenticity. The truth is, all of us are in need of healing. We have allowed certain parts of us to be left wounded and scarred. I am now allowing my wounds to show because all along, I have been using my idea of strength just to hold myself together when I am internally breaking.
I am learning that the strength of my character is not determined by my ability to give unearned love and is rather based on my ability to love in a way that respects my own limits.
I have already outgrown the people who are invalidating my pain and I would no longer allow their words and actions to get the best of me and my authenticity. From now on, I would never ever take for granted the people who helped me face the pain head-on and allowed the tears to flow during the times I’ve been struggling a lot to hold them back. It’s about time to do myself the favor of validating my pain and welcoming the normalcy of it.
It’s about time to stop forcing myself into the lives of the wrong people who have never seen me worthy of letting in — to give myself space to fully heal and to build on true strength. I am now walking a path with the bricks laid down by my unique experiences that tell so many healing stories about how I became who I am now. I am done trying to prove myself to everyone who always told me that I am weak because everything I have survived is already enough to tell that I am not.
It’s about time for me to acknowledge the growth that I’ve reached and that has prepared me for the journey ahead of me, so I would no longer be haunted by who I used to be — the one who allowed people to steal the life out of me.
It may have taken me a lot of mistakes before I realized all of this, but I don’t feel sorry for myself that I had to experience the worst and be at my worst, as those were the ways for me to understand that I am indeed capable of knowing better.
I don’t feel sorry for myself that I poured my heart out to the people who only knew how to took advantage of it because if it wasn’t for how they’ve ran it dry, I wouldn’t have seen that it was actually filled with grace. I wouldn’t have witnessed the beauty of what it’s capable of.
No, I am not sorry for myself that it took me a lot of breaking before I started learning about true strength.