How I spent Election Night

I watched the returns.

At about 2:30am, I turned off the television, walked the dogs, drove to a gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes. I went through the local Tim Hortons for a medium black coffee and lit my first cigarette in twenty-seven years.

I chain-smoked in the parking lot until my coffee was gone, my head was floating and I couldn’t feel my hands.

I threw up in the grassy drainage ditch that runs alongside the parking lot.

I quit smoking in defiance when cigarettes went to $1/pack. They are now just a little under $7/pack. YIKES! Clearly this is not a sustainable coping strategy. Also, I threw up ;) I’m selling the seventeen remaining cigarettes on ebay.

I was never going to post this story but my editor Saxon Henry laughed so hard at my pain and then insisted I post. So here goes. Blame her.