“How is it you never lose your socks in the dryer?” she asked.
I have a system and I’m going to share it with you. Firstly, though, you have to subscribe to Aristotelian logic that basically says the same thing can’t be in two places at once and the law of physics (not gonna argue finer points here) that states matter can’t be destroyed. Since you aren’t running complicated experiments in thermodynamics on your socks, save the arguments for your nerd friends … or leave them in the comments. Really, amuse us English majors. Of course, if you believe in magic, just stop reading now and enjoy your sockless existence.
- When you remove your socks, pull them flat, pair them up and lay them flat in the hamper. Don’t ball them up and stuff them in your shoes; don’t leave them on the floor. Put them in the hamper, paired up and flat.
- When loading the washing machine, pair them up and place them as a pair in the washing machine. If you did the first step, this should be easy.
- When unloading the washing machine and putting your clothes in the dryer, pair your socks before placing them in the dryer.
- When unloading the dryer, pair your socks up as you remove them from the dryer.
- If by a very strange accident one of your socks goes missing, throw the single sock away immediately. Really, just do it.
That’s it. Do this every time. You’ll never lose a sock. Ever. And buy socks in bulk; it’s harder to lose a pair of socks when you have 24 pairs of the same black socks and 24 pairs of the same white socks.
The funky pairs are for special occasions. Really. Life needs small celebrations.