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Freewriting to all the men who have used me
A letter to heal myself
Freewriting has helped me overcome countless troubles, traumas and tantrums.
Recently, I’ve been feeling shit about romance due to past relationships. Apart from sexual abuse, I’ve been dealing with feelings of betrayel and feeling used.
Here’s my letter to all the men who (I feel) have used me, typed and edited after a freewriting exercise.
I did share it with some of my exes, after several other attempts at reaching out about how I felt about the relationship. Call it a writer's risky behaviour.
One blamed me for his money troubles, another one hasn’t responded (and probably will not).
The abuser won’t even get this much attention from me.
Hope you enjoy it!
To all the men who have used me
Dear Men,
I am not a doll with a flesh pussy.
If you want a doll with a pussy, then go buy one.
I am a living being with flesh all over my body. I also have a soul.
I have emotions that need to be respected.
I am a person. I am an individual.
I like desserts, books and watching the sky. I write to express myself. I meditate and go for long walks.
I love animals. I have three pet dogs who I love to bits and pieces.
I enjoy real connections over coffee, shared interests and travelling.
When you say that you love me, I take it seriously and expect, yes expect, you to work on our relationship and resolve relationship issues.
I’m not interested in being ‘pocketed’. If you can’t get yourself to introduce me to your family and friends, in a respectful way, then don’t talk to me. Especially, don’t try to move in with me.
Sometimes I have to deal with a pimple or a bad stomach. On some days, I am not emotionally quite there. Some days, I am an anxious mess. I still hope to be loved on those days.
I don’t want to be your foster girlfriend. If you feel like I’m the penultimate one, the one who you will be with and learn from till you find ‘the one’, then walk away immediately.
I have hopes and dreams. Making my dreams come true, brings me joy and contentment.
I hope there is at least one man out there who can see me for who I am and not treat me like I am not a living being, even though it may seem easier.
Dear men, I have thoughts, emotions, feelings, desires and hopes. If you can’t handle them, then don’t be with me.
Yours sincerely,
A woman who is tired of being used.
I have shared more about how I write to heal myself here:
Let’s heal together! Share your experience or link to your personal essay in the comments section. I promise to reflect and respond with 🤍
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Also try this article with tips for new writers and this one about a beach holiday from hell
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