Gender: Your Guide — Book Club Summary
In this blog series, we intend to share a little about the professional learning of the Montcrest faculty, staff and leaders, focusing on the books we have been reading.
‘Gender: Your Guide, A Gender-Friendly Primer on What to Know, What to Say and What to Do in the New Gender Culture’ by Lee Airton Ph.D., was the book of highest interest amongst faculty and staff at Montcrest. The book reading was accompanied by monthly discussions culminating in a Q&A session with Lee. Based on feedback and input from the initial group of Montcrest readers, Lee also ran two workshops focusing on both young learners and middle school learners in June 2022.
In this article, we will summarize some of the key themes in the book through the reflections of teachers guided by the following questions:
- What is your biggest takeaway from the book/session for your personal practice?
- Based on the session/book, what is one thing you see as an opportunity for Montcrest to address?
- How can we continue to foster learning around gender identity at Montcrest?
What is your biggest takeaway from the book/session for your personal practice?
As the title suggests, this book is a guide. Lee pulls apart our traditionally gendered world and weaves together their lived experience with gentle and compassionate advice for personal and collective action.
“Reading this book as a cisgender person gave me some perspective and really just opened my eyes as to how deeply entrenched gender pronouns are in every aspect of our lives — language, culture, relationships.”
“Making a personal, conscious and collective effort to lessen and (hopefully) eliminate the instances where a trans/non-binary person is misgendered is a good starting point and absolutely necessary.”
The imperative for action may seem more or less significant based on our current social, familial and broader network circles. Lee points out in chapter 2, we are all gender experts (whether we know it or not).
“The importance of reframing the entire concept of gender being something that not only those who are Trans, non-binary, or gender non-conforming have to think about; the performance of gender is something that everyone experiences and participates in all the time, regardless of our gender identity. In both the book and the session, Lee emphasized this as a shift to not only diminish the othering of those whose gender does not match what they were assigned at birth but to help demystify the idea of gender as a construct for those who are more resistant to these ideas and conversations.”
Depending on where you are in your journey of learning and unlearning, this conversation will feel different. For example, the table above illustrates Common Gender-Neutral Pronouns compared with She and He, which may be familiar or new to you. Regardless, Lee’s approach in writing and in person is kind and compassionate for what change is like for each person. They offered wise advice to,
“make small shifts. Lee says that small shifts are what lead to policy change, and that actually putting the cart before the horse is something that they feel can be quite effective. One example was using gender-friendly language in our teaching, no matter what the subject area. Making space for all of our students, because we simply don’t know who we may be speaking to and what they may be experiencing. This takes time and practice, but Lee also said to be transparent about our own learning; let folks know that we are working on this and that we may make mistakes, and that’s okay!”
“We are in new territory, so education and support of us will help us support students.”
This sentiment was a driving force to keep us focused on students and to help clarify our why of forging an ongoing working relationship with Lee. Beginning with the book was a powerful way for people to learn in a personal way before engaging in the Q & A and then the first workshops. This foundation has set people up with the knowledge to enter into meaningful dialogue,
“It was really interesting having a safe space where people could ask questions or share times they were uncertain about how to handle or respond to a variety of situations. I found that actually resulted in learning and rethinking a lot of other things that I could reflect on, so having some kind of a format like that again might be really helpful. It’s hard to even know what to ask, but hearing other questions leads to generating more questions.”
Based on the session/book, what is one thing you see as an opportunity for Montcrest to address?
As reflective practitioners, those who have read the book recognized the opportunities for Montcrest in policy and practice.
“I loved the idea of stating something specific in a way that takes a stand. It led me to think about our policies and practices, and where the areas might be for us to make some bold statements. Of course, we can continue to help folks along by offering PD, readings, etc.; however, the idea of this now just being what we do really appealed to me. Lee said that it really should come from our big L leaders so that everyone is on the same page.”
Part of embedding this work is the need for a common language that we all use. This is a recurring theme over the past year as we have begun strategic action, particularly with the Common Ground Collaborative. A shared language around gender identity will involve certain phrases and terms being removed from use,
“I think perhaps one area to consider is defining certain basics as a school…deciding and defining what would no longer be appropriate or inclusive. For example, not using language such as “girls and boys” when addressing a class.”
“Using they/them for people who we don’t know their preferred pronouns, how teachers address students… Super interesting. How do we greet/address our students? Staff agreement and commitment to “safe words” and words we remove from our discourse.”
Other conversations relate more to policy and the broader experience of school life,
“Having a discussion about best practices for overnight trips using the guidelines Lee Airton shared with us and considering gender-divided athletics.”
How can we continue to foster learning around gender identity at Montcrest?
It was abundantly clear that this work is a whole school movement across all aspects of school life and operations. This is work that needs time and steady progress with access to resources. It is work that also benefits from internal and external collaboration. This was evident in the following comments expressing a desire to continue to work with Lee and work with colleagues,
“They’re so easy to talk to and their resources are very accessible. Everyone at Montcrest should really read the book and have an opportunity to talk about it. We need to prioritize this learning and it needs to be modelled in every meeting, policy, and document that we put out.”
“I had a situation where I was unsure of how to be most supportive. I felt comfortable talking with other colleagues to learn. [It helped me to] slow down and think through perspectives before acting to best support the student.”
Another aspect of the collaborative approach is knowing how we are partners with students and families in this learning. In order to achieve this we need to be ok with,
“Acknowledging when we make an error, correcting it and encouraging students to continue to advocate for themselves.”
In order to address curriculum change, working with Lee will offer teachers support in small groups to create learning sequences, beginning with units addressing identity as well as components of the Health curriculum. This collaborative work will also include, “hearing other teachers' ideas and having feedback on our own teaching”.
“Time to talk in subject/grade groups (at Montcrest and other schools) to see what this work looks like in the classroom.”
Reading Gender: Your Guide and engaging with sessions with Dr. Lee Airton have had a clear impact on life and learning at Montcrest. We are committed to continuing to learn and do the work that is necessary both within the systems and structures as well as the curriculum. With continued guidance and a collaborative approach, we will continue to progress in this important work. Stay tuned for the next article in this professional learning story where we will share about the book, ‘Me and White Supremacy’.
**Anonymous quotes are used with thanks to the faculty of Montcrest School who shared their ideas in a variety of feedback methods.
