5 reasons why you should watch Baywatch

If you really love Dwayne Johnson then close this review. In other case — welcome!

Reason one

Dwayne Johnson is a (god) Batman!

If you think that Dwayne Johnson is superb, all women love him and men build a Johnson’s sculpture from sand and he is very similar to Batman — this movie for you! No, seriously. All these crazy things from the movie. First five minutes I thought that Dwayne Johnson not only main actor, but also writer, producer, director and The Rock! of the film. Nope, my mistake.

Dwayne Johnson and Batman — one face!

By the way, Dwayne Johnson also was in the previous movie that I reviewed (Fast and Furious 8). Maybe it is fate of Rock?

Reason two

Boobs and dicks

And dick of a dead man. Nope, I’m serious again. Humor in the movie concentrated around this parts of human body. Well, I like some of these parts. But the quality of jokes is very low.

Zac Efron touches bald Rock

Reason three

Really “family team” where you don’t remember any names

As in the original Baywatch the main characters is rescuers. How can we characterize them? That one blonde with great boobs, another one with boobs and another… I was looking in Google about her boobs after last few words — and yes, she has boobs, but didn’t show.

Another half of the team is more interesting. Dwayne Johnson, “the guy who vomits (with two Olympic gold medals)” and this fat guy who loves that blonde with tits. Must say that Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron (vomiting guy) looks good. Very good. Maybe I’m envy, because I’m fat. That is real reason to watch movie. But would you watch only for fifteen minutes??? (and all movie is about two hours!)

Reason four

You adore a very simple script

I mean very-very simple. And the script of more than two pages is a scientific sh*t.

The script has as many clichés as you can accommodate on this two pages. It is story about friendship, love, betrayed… stop, stop, stop. We have one guy (Zac Efron) and team of rescuers. Our guy is bad at the beginning and good at the end. Somewhere you can find also drug dealers, story about friendship between Johnson and Efron, several love stories… All this are so uninteresting, that you will be shocked. But there are boobs!

Alexandra Daddario’s big blue eyes don’t help the movie

Reason five

You can wait for two hours only for 30-second with Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff

I don’t remember original Baywatch. Frankly, I remember only boobs. And I have never been a fan of this series. So, I can’t say that true fans wouldn’t like new Baywatch (guys, are you really like a dicks in the movie???). But if it is remake of old TV series then the connection is very weak. There are several references and David Hasselhoff with Pamela Anderson appear. But there are no atmosphere of previous series.

This is bad. Very bad

2 bald Dwayne Johnson out from 10

Mooovie & reviews

For fun and for English study — movie reviews

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Kostiantyn Donchenko

Written by

Mooovie & reviews

For fun and for English study — movie reviews

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