Mooseville Nightlife - Gatekeepers and Monopolies #1 [2014]
The nightlife in Mooseville retains a sort of quixotic mixture. At times it is vibrant then abruptly corpse bright. The Government’s psychotic nanny police state measures ensure that eclectic fun is often a hard thing to wring from the town - especially if you are gifted with any sort of reversed biorhythm.
Beers and ciders below 4.6% can be purchased grocery stores. As Finland is a country of monopolies that has no time for the small business owner (unless it is like boutique napkins or hairdressers). This is likely to be from Alepa or S-Market or Lidl. Anything beyond - such as wine or gin, you will be purchasing from the semi-state Alko shops. These close at 8pm, 6pm on Saturdays and are closed on Sundays. These state run shops have stricter drunkenness policies than most bars and you can often see the wrong end of an educated individual seeking to absolve the horror. Usually being escorted out by a grimly smirking bouncer.
The Finns have been part of an iron fisted nanny state for so long - they have to make stories up - quaint fairy tales - that whistle up some good about the situation. The commonest one I have heard, whispered about campfires and told to somnambulistic drunks to teeter them to the warmth beyond the veil of sleep. Mumbles that the current claw-fingered possession with which the state holds alcohol, is a good thing because the Alko shops ensure that the Finns will only get the best quality alcohol.
That they would never stock the substandard stuff. The last two times I heard this, the speaker was reverently pouring vodka from a bottle what would be regarded the cheapest paint thinner in Ireland. The vodka of hobos, tramps, civil servants, myself and my friends. One slight door step up from white label and one step sideways from Victory Gin (“The Gin of Victories”). Probably a whole small beachside bungalow up from 5 O’Clock Vodka.
You will find this everywhere in Finnish society. They are often well behaved and believe in the goodness of the intent of that control. I was told recently that a friend is only waiting for the Government to legalise cannabis. They believe in the stupidity of the prohibition, understand all the health benefits. However they will not touch it while it remains under Government sanction. Despotic regimes the world over could only dream for a populace so well behaved.
As if to play on that. Most of everything in Finland is the product of a chain. From the strip malls, to the chains to the fast food and conservative Christian air. The Americanisation is complete. While it retains a decidedly if fading Finnish air and sensibility, the wrapping and delivery are now stateside.
It’s worth noting again and again that Lidl had to fight hard to come to Finland and during that process at least one politician got up to argue that the monopoly the current grocery stores had over Finland was good for Finland.
The problem with the monopolies - especially when it comes to bars or nightclubs is that the owners personality seems to change at warp speed. As they twist into the cliché out of touch cunt club owner. In their minds they have become kings of small fiefs what follows is power crazed and kingdom accumulating. For the most part, you would think this might work out. X or Y has done well with that one ‘Watership Down’ themed bar, he seems nice when he does his Wednesday - “I’m a hands on owner” walk around.
However what you get is shells - nothing really changes for the chain pub within the chain. Depressingly, there is no real difference in alcohol. The mood barely changes and is highly dependent on that one barman. The cranky one who pretends to like you. The outside might have a bit of an Italian or Indian or Mexican or Americana vibe - the inside might be drenched in the worst plastic of these decorations. Then it’s the same beer - except perhaps one local to whatever theme the Booze Baron has picked for his new duchy. Often the music is whatever the bar girl was listening to on her last trip to Thailand.
Of course, you can find this in Scotland, Wales, England, Northern Ireland in the static nightmare that are ‘JD Wetherspoons Old and Poor People Control Units’. Though for the most part, those individually named places can get away with it due to size of population. Mooseville and Finland at large cannot pull this old elephant hiding behind a tree switcheroo. In a country so drenched in alcoholism, cold and darkness - Mooseville needs its vibrancy - its differences and quirks. Without any real character - the pubs and clubs in Mooseville weigh heavily to the general cynical air of “Try…but don’t try too hard…there is no point…they’ll only help you fail…” that permeates and erodes the spirit.
With very little difference in the pubs and clubs, with the sickening lack of effort from the chains, Finnish watering holes, pubs in Mooseville begin to take on a withering dystopian frame cast in sick artificial light. Characterless dispensary outlets where one goes to get some numbing liver poison spat into a glass from a button operated automated system. The social side of it drifts and people are just drinking to reach stages.
“Friday was good - drank a solid stage 5 - sang some karaoke - didn’t get choked or pepper sprayed - went home - wept in the darkness.”
There are good bars in Mooseville - some incredible bars and one or two made of the very fabric of pub legend. Such as ‘The Mouse’ But this piece is not about that. Nor is it about the splendid few who wring nights and happenings out of the existing venues. Or the rather sporadically beautiful underground party scene.
It is about the pub and club owner lungworms that are doing a very cultured and deserving populace a massive disservice.It is about those bastards over there.
Part 2 — The Gatekeepers and The Elite
coming
Originally published at 13/02/2014
- *****************************************************
- *****************************************************
- *****************************************************
You can support the struggle through this bigots fraud and death threats and the maybe asbestos poisoning and the rest, if you like, by buying Mooseville99 a ko fi or three or more ;)
Thank you for reading.
