How to Identify an Abuser? Think of Someone Good at Brainwashing…
How often do we think someone else’s thoughts or repeat someone else’s words? Coercive persuasion does exist. Aggressors don’t care for other people’s freedom or interests and use brainwashing techniques extensively. Moreover, they learn how to manipulate with maximal efficiency. They attend special courses on people management, even if these courses offer questionable or openly inhuman techniques. (Sadly enough, sadists consider someone else’s broken mental health a positive byproduct of their evil deeds). Anyway, they want your brains, no matter what the means are. They are ready to get what they want at any cost. At the cost of you, for example.
Predators discover their inability to experience normal emotions early. They cannot love anyone or have friends, they do not understand give’n’take communication. Their immature personality simply cannot accept an equal-to-equal relationship. Instead, they learn how to turn others into servants. They do study psychology to imitate the good traits of character they don’t have to attract and keep people… at least until these people discover the truth. Aggressors build sects around themselves and get rid of those who do not worship them anymore, often defaming people who accept them for who they are.
Disclaimer. This blog post is written by a former victim, not a psychology genius.
Search for vocation-oriented people at a loss
Many survivors who escaped from destructive sects, recall that they had no sense of purpose in life during the period when they were recruited by the sect’s adepts. The warm circle of sect created an illusion of belonging to a team. Some organizations built around charismatic leaders also employ brainwashing techniques to pull extreme loyalty out of staff members. When you are not just working for a paycheck, when you are fulfilling your life mission, you bring to the table everything you have, including your property, health, and time.
Predators create this deep feeling of a mission or a vocation to exploit you to the maximum extent. Will anyone sacrifice their personal projects, family time, sleep and rest to a paycheck-only job? Surely not — this is insane. With a mission, it’s different. You’ll agree to work day and night for free. This is exactly what the aggressor wants you to do. Forget yourself and build welfare for them, at zero extra expense because you are on a mission. This is how they fool you. Fake warmth, fake mission, fake promises — fake everything. Beware of sects, cults and charismatic leaders coming down to you from their skies to recruit you. It’s dangerous.
Lies aimed at the victim’s isolation
To make you focus on their goals, aggressors will gradually devalue everything else in your life (hobbies, friends & family, personal projects, etc.). Your own goals will be marked as “not good enough for you” and “not worth it”. Like terrorists persuading young bombers to sacrifice their present life to the future one in heaven, the predator will tell you that the mission they offer to you is the only career path worth following — all the rest is so mediocre, so dull, so ridiculous…
You will not consider extra two hours with the family, you will live without a vacation for years, you will work nights and weekends because the aggressor assumes you to do so. All this without extra payment. You volunteer. That’s your mission.
Game of comparison in the sect’s hierarchy
When the predator’s empire becomes your second (or even first) home, you’ll discover that not all victims are treated equally. Some of them are attended to, some of them are neglected and are not often mentioned in front of others. You’ll find yourself in the middle of a scandal all of a sudden, you’ll be the unwanted element as the tough game of competition is always on. The aggressor’s attention is the prize. Mostly, people are neglected and need to beg for simple things like a greeting or an answer from the godlike Master.
As a newcomer, you’ll first get a lot of attention, and then you’ll join those neglected beggars. Occasionally, you’ll be warmed up to bring something exceptional to the Master’s table. This outstanding gesture will certainly require a lot of your time and effort, and you’ll get some praise to be neglected again later as the Master wants you to top yourself, going above & beyond again.
Doublethink & Aesopian language everywhere
Everything in the predator’s sect will be built on the doublethink concept from the 1984 novel. Words will have double meanings, promises will refer to something vague, very small and very big simultaneously, and coercive persuasion will go behind the scenes. You will constantly be diminished and hinted that you should adore the sect’s leader, its values, its rules, etc. (Watch out for strong, overly emotional words in inappropriate contexts, pauses and unusual intonations, someone unauthorized touching you or your pain points, victimizing rhetoric, sleep deprivation, etc.) The agenda will always be the sect, its significance for your life will be terribly exaggerated. You will be forced to love the Big Brother and hate the Big Brother’s enemies.
You’ll come to the Master to get your issue resolved and spend hours in conversations. Your sane requests will not be fulfilled, your proposals will not be accepted, and you will feel diminished. Why all these conversations take place then, without any visible outcome? Control is the answer. While talking to you, the aggressor checks out your level of loyalty and adds more to your addiction to the sect. All the objections will be addressed, but the wayouts offered will be odd, illogical and mostly based on irrational things like your devotion to the sect.
Self-blaming and low self-esteem
People with high self-esteem and a strong sense of dignity will be forced out of this pyramid. The predator doesn’t like strong personalities, as their fear of being beaten by a competitor is super strong. So everyone else having authority over their people will leave their empire. If you see people with good ethics and a highly professional attitude going away from some organization, it’s a red flag. Smart people leave cults early or at their first chance.
People with psychological issues, various incapabilities, drug and alcohol addictions, and low self-esteem are cornerstones of sects. Fear for not being accepted elsewhere keeps them with their Master. Sometimes they even realize their unhealthy attachment to the sect but cannot cope with it. Yet, the predator makes a special effort to persuade such victims that they should blame themselves for not succeeding in their organization. This drives the victims crazy, they proceed to contribute to the sect’s (and the Master’s) success until they are dead… sometimes — literally dead…
Why is brainwashing so dangerous?
A situation of brainwashing lasting for years, when a person survives waves of psychological violence one by one, often ends in fatal diseases. When someone is unable to get out from a toxic environment by making the corresponding decision, their body starts the process of self-destruction.
In your heart of hearts, you understand that the controlled life you live is not yours — you’re forced to do what you do. Would anyone fancy living someone else’s life instead of the one and only life they might fill with what they want most? We are all born for freedom and suffer from predators practicing abuse of power, moral harassment, and brainwashing techniques aimed at exploitation. The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about the possibility of coercive persuasion and manipulation and save your life.
Predators target generous, openhearted, warm people. Don’t jump on their carousel of death. You have a lot of other things to do and thrive as a result. Live your life and enjoy it!
