Moral Harassment Healing Series: How to Treat “Flying Monkeys”
So you know the truth about your harasser’s cruelty. Yet, there are others who still treat this person with respect & even sympathize with them. This is painful as you know how far this predator can go with torture, control, and mind games. Abusers push you toward suicide and drive you crazy just for fun. After you escape from them, they start sending Flying Monkeys your way. They want you to be back to your victim status. Re-victimization is their sport.
Disclamer. This series is written by a moral harassment survivor, not a psychologist.
Why do abusers prefer to have others contact you? The abuser is not the one to look needy (in fact they are SUPER needy and seek EXTRA attention, LOL!). They want YOU to feel miserable and neglected, this is why they use their servants to speak to you. What’s the goal? To make sure you can still be controlled and brought back to the predator’s carousel of slow death, craziness & exploitation. There are, actually, two types of Flying Monkeys.
Enablers are the predator’s fellow sadists. They know what their friends (abusers!) do and encourage them to do so. The philosophy behind it must be “let the boss torture someone else, not me”. Spouses and other relatives of abusers very often have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and are the Vulnerable Narcissist type. They want their Grandiose boss or relative, the superior one, to target someone else and are willing to help the abuser to torture you. They know that it’s all about abuse, bullying, and doing harm to your mental health. Yet, they participate in it.
What to do with enablers? The answer is quite obvious — you don’t want any sadists to poison your life, so just please yourself by blocking them. Let them join their Master (I assume that you have blocked this poor cosplayer of Devil previously, right?). Don’t share your news with them, don’t reply to them, don’t feel flattered with the Master still being interested in you. (Draculas are always interested in someone’s blood, that’s typical of them, and they remember the taste of yours…) They want to destroy your mental health, happiness & life. Stay firm with your NO, forever means forever. These are crazy people, kick them away.
Blinded victims are often used as Flying Monkeys, too. This is how predators test their obedience and loyalty. Abusers deliberately make victims witness the cruelty they practice. This is why current victims are often sent to ex-victims to witness some crap. If the current victim stays with the Master even after being warned against them, more torture will follow. Sometimes good but blinded people are used as means of torture. Predators love ruining friendships and intimacy, so be prepared that the predator will victimize your friends or even relatives. They know that being tortured through someone dear feels more painful. They are well aware of it.
What to do with blinded victims? Whatever you tell them, they won’t believe you now that they are at the honeymoon phase of their relationship with the harasser. They will never accept your reality until they get a fair amount of their own stabs in the back. Sadly, they need to learn who they deal with by experience. Until they are very low and tortured enough, they will be sure that you’re just jealous and talking rubbish. You will doubt if you need to come up with some warning or at least a hint. There’s no all-purpose solution here, it will depend on the person. In exceptional cases, you will try to do warnings. Generally, it’s not worth it — everything you tell a Flying Monkey will go to the Master, who wants to ruin your life. You were disobedient enough to leave them, so they want revenge, they want to see you suffering.
In general, Flying Monkeys, attempts to smear your name, hack your email or social media accounts are all about the attention the abuser wants to pull from you. They want you to curse them if you don’t worship them. Their nature of a troll wants you to focus on them. Just think of how needy they are if they practice stalking… You’re no longer their property, and it scares them. This is why they want you to be scared by their constant threats and revenge hints.
Do the opposite. Stay strong. After all, you’re a sane person because you have left the predator’s hierarchy and no longer serve this evil creature. You’ll cope with their evil deeds, including their valetry disturbing you. Consider assistance from police & anti-harassment committees and public interviews if things get worse. You have all the power to provide safety for yourself. Perceive it all as acts of a crazy, damaged, insane individual. Document everything and don’t let them off-balance you. Envious maniacs may even look amusing if you have enough power to get them punished. Ensure you have that power and then relax.
