Problems Aren’t the Problem, but Acknowledgement is the Solution
Humans are unique in the sense that we try to understand our emotions. We want to explain them so that we don’t have to feel them. Most of our emotions scare and confuse us. On some level, we know that we have no clue how to handle them, so we spend our lives avoiding situations that will make us feel anything that we can’t easily manage.
To add to that, we buy into this idea that there are appropriate ways to feel about things, so we’re not always sure whether or not we “should” feel what we do. Where’s the proof? Where is the factual, irrefutable evidence that I should or should not feel what I do at this moment?
Not understanding what you feel is not a problem, because feelings are not there to be understood. They are there to be felt. Emotions are chemicals released by our bodies in response to thoughts. Since when does a chemical need an explanation? Do you eat, then ponder the mysteries of your digestion?
Let me offer an experiment. Forget about trying to explain, judge, or fix what you feel. Just acknowledge it. When you feel anything but completely clear and free, simply go inside, put your full attention on the feeling, and recognize that it feels the way it does. If you have to think something, think, “This is what that thought just made me feel.” And notice that letting yourself feel it doesn’t make you die. Learn that lesson until it sticks. As soon as you’re no longer afraid of what you feel, you stop living in fear.
If you’re afraid to do that (which I can relate to), recognize the fear first. Embrace it. Accepting your fear doesn’t make it true, it just lets you stop running from it. You’re not accepting the worst-case scenario that you were hoping to avoid, you’re just accepting that your body feels what it does at this moment. That’s acknowledgment.
Acknowledgment is the solution to life. It’s always the one thing that stands in the way of resolution. It’s what must happen before you can take effective action. It’s a guaranteed moment of clarity and presence. It’s what your therapist, spiritual coach, and partner all really want from you. And, in my opinion, it is the single most important skill for facilitating personal development.
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