A Prayer to our Mother in Heaven
i.
I was told to only talk to Father, but Mother, they told me you were there. Mother I need you, because only a woman can understand a woman’s tears.
I don’t know if you are there, or if you can feel the heaviness I carry. I often wonder if you are too busy populating worlds with your
heavenly womb
ii.
Mother, Father gave men the power to violate our bodies. I hope you are not incapable of taking that power away. I’m begging you to please
take that
power away
iii.
You and Father must confer about everything. I wonder about what you’ve ever
done on your own
iv.
There is ideal beauty on earth, so there must be in heaven. Is that you? Do I look like you, or do I have my Father’s
eyes?
v.
I have “baby weight” from three children, still. I wonder if you lost yours.
Ten pounds per child… so I can only imagine what you must look like if you haven’t. Where you are, though, it might not be a reason to look in the glass
and weep.
As for children, I think you can stop now because it’s very crowded down here, and your children, Mother…
they are
suffering
vi.
Men rule the world, and our Father rules in Heaven. When war breaks out in Heaven, do you sit and knit while listening to the radio?
vii.
When your children cry, does your
milk come in?
viii.
I bet you knew Father was The One the moment you met Him.
There were no other Gods before Him, I’ll bet
ix.
Mother, could you please sing me a lullaby? I’m afraid
to close
my eyes
x.
I get so tired… like little pieces of me get nibbled on day in, day out, torn from need, needs I cannot fulfill. You must feel that way, too, sometimes.
Maybe we could go on a Mother-daughter date and get our nails done.
We could talk about how soft
you must whisper
at home
xi.
I bet Father is too busy being the Lord to court you anymore, but I hope He still brings you flowers on your birthday
xii.
I’m so lonely, Mother… I miss you, although I don’t remember you
I must, somewhere, deep inside me. May I call you
Mom? Mom, where are you?
Where have you been
when I needed you
most
xiii.
I hope we can talk soon. your voice is so quiet —
I can’t hear you.
The thing is, Mother, I don’t think Father can hear me at all,
so I’m praying to you. Can you hear me, Mom? Mom?
Mother? Please?
Please…
please…please, oh, please…it’s so quiet and I
feel so alone… I’m
afraid —
so afraid —
you aren’t there
xiv.
Mother in Heaven, I am your daughter, a wo-man, filled with woe —
so I say and pray
these things in the name of all that is
soft and nurturing, chaste and benevolent —
to you, my Mother, who is, who must be, the “heart” in:
ache, felt, warm, beat, string, throb, land, burn, break…
I believe, because of you, in doing good to all
— male or female —
and I hope all things,
enduring so much more than I’m able Mother — I believe — because
of you, and
for you.
And all that is lovely, virtuous and of
good report, worthy in praise unto Thee
because I am made of
You, from You, by You,
too…
so
I seek you…
we seek you.
Thus, I write and pray these things
in the name, in your name
— my Mother, our Mother in Heaven —
A-wo-men
— J.A. Carter-Winward
