The Amazing Antics Of Stella The Stunt Girl
Stella, if you haven’t read the news, is a stunt girl who thinks normal childhood is such a snooze. Her courage and adversity to fear, has earned her the coveted title: Stunt Girl of the Year.
Although some speculate that her legend is merely a guess.
Her next stunt, however, will prove she’s the best. Today is the day she puts all those rumors to rest…
Being a stunt girl requires bravery that can withstand a bang and a boom but today might be the day I meet my inevitable doom.
This is my 300th act, which you’d think makes it routine, but this will be my first act where ground beneath me cannot be seen…
“Ah, ahhh, ACHOO!”
My human cannon sneezes right on cue, propelling me into the air as I bid the lively crowd adieu.
Why is this cannon sneezing? Has it come down with the flu? Nope, it’s simply that this cannon is allergic to gunpowder-y goo.
As I ascend quickly into the air, the skeptical crowd all shouts:
“HAHA” and “GOODBYE!”
Because no one knows for sure if I really can fly.
I zoom onwards and upwards, my fist punching the air. I bounce between clouds like a pinball that has style and flair.
I hit a whirlwind of turbulent air and get tossed into a loop. “Take me higher!” I cheer before making one last swoop.
I shoot out from the turbulence and end up in a flock of seventy squawking seagulls that toss me back and forth. “Hey get out of my way! I want to go north!” I say.
They ignore my demands but suddenly they all disperse… A time-traveling dragon has appeared, making the matters much worse.
“It’s too late, I can’t go in reverse. Someone please help me get rid of this curse!” I shout.
Luckily, I may have a way out of this mess. The great Aristotle and his pal Leonardo da Vinci appear, They can also time travel, I guess.
They graciously pick me up in their flying thingamabob. Who ever built this thing must have been a real slob. I’m curios so I ask, “how does this thing even fly? It has no wings, no jets, not even a balloon or kite, it’s a wonder how you even made it into the sky!”
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.,” Leonardo da Vinci replies.
It’s at this point I realize that I’ve had enough. Being a stunt girl is no fluff, I can’t continue on with this lie, this bluff. I thank Aristotle and Leonardo da Vinci for their assistance and honor but explain “I really need to go or else I’m a goner!”
Aristotle replies “you will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.”
*****
So this is the end to all the terrible, terrible things this stunt has brought. I pull out my parachute, 99 balloons that my mother recently bought.
I begin my descent slowly but surely. I would have landed safely if it weren’t for my arch nemesis, a flying porcupine named Mr. McCurly. He pops all my balloons making me fall prematurely.
I fall fast and quick to my death, praying for my life under my breath.
Falling…
Falling…
Falling…
Boing!
What I expected to be a tragic landing on concrete, ends up feeling rather comfy and sweet.
It’ a bouncy trampoline!
Which means I’m alive and just broke the record for longest shot out of a sneezing human cannon machine!
