Grandad Jokes, Batch #21
From the “Never Grow Up” section of the book Grandad Jokes
101
An age-old question was resolved by Emily Post.
When serving dinner, egg always comes before chicken.
102
When Columbus sailed to America, he sailed in the Santa Maria.
When the Pope sailed to America, he sailed in the Ave Maria.
103
What is the science of measuring carbs?
Gastro-economics
104
What did the lizard want to be when he grew up?
A newt reporter
105
Where do the best Japanese comedians come from?
Joke-ohama
106
Who is the Korean messiah?
The Chosen One
107
What did Moses say to the Red Sea?
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
108
What’s the favorite dance of armored vehicles?
The tank-o
109
When a submarine misbehaves, what do you call it?
Naughty-less
110
Which animal is known for its drug addiction?
The crackodile
111
What do you call a chef who specializes in linguine?
A linguist.
112
When the head chef ran into difficulties, he always told his staff,
“There is no in-supper-able problem.”
113
Did you hear about the American tourist who didn’t want to exchange her dollars when she went to Europe?
She was afraid of getting a euro tract infection.
114
What’s a good name for a business providing financial advice for the beef industry?
Cow Jones
115
A guy just got back from a long trip.
“How was the flight?” asked his friend.
“The coach was fine, but the six horses made it a bit crowded.”
116
What’s the name of the cat who ruled China?
Meow tse tung
117
What did Chaucer say to a cleric on the way to Canterbury?
Howdy, pardonner.
118
When one mistake leads to another, what do you call it?
Son of a glitch
119
Where do dogs sleep when they go camping?
In a pup tent
120
When a ghost opened a little shop on the corner, what did he call it?
A boo-tique
121
The traveler’s law —
Baggage expands to fill the space available.
122
What do you say when UPS arrives at your door?
How now brown truck?
123
What do you call an electronic music gadget with three legs?
A tripod
124
An ancient Chinese boardgame
that men play sitting on benches
waiting for their wives who are shopping —
Pa Jong
125
What’s the title of the autobiography of a famous Italian gourmet?
Remembrance of Time Pasta
