Grandad Jokes, Batch #23
From the “Never Grow Up” section of the book Grandad Jokes
151
What is Alan Alda’s favorite food?
MASH potatoes.
152
What’s the best place to buy used seafood?
A prawn shop.
153
What model of sports car does the president of McDonald’s drive?
Hamburguini.
154
Why did the bull panic on Hanukkah?
Because he was afraid of being gelded.
155
What business likes to hire owls?
Hooters.
156
What owl became a singing cowboy movie star?
Hoot Gibson.
157
What do you call a corncob with only one kernel?
A unicorn.
158
What does a unicorn ride?
A unicycle.
160
When a rabbit feels sorry for himself, what does he sing?
Thump pity, thump thump.
162
A marriage ceremony is like a baptism.
That’s why they call it a wetting.
163
What did the skunk pirate captain say?
Stink the ship.
164
Why did the daddy goat laugh when the mommy goat was in labor?
She was kidding.
166
Definition of snoring —
Sleeping soundly.
166
How do you encourage a whale to exercise?
Burn blubber!
167
What do you call a smartphone you are mad at?
A ding bat.
169
What was the name of the Buddhist nun who invented the automobile?
Car Ma.
What was the name of her dog?
Car Pet.
170
What is the name of one hand clapping?
Hands Solo.
171
When you are investigating bank fraud, who should you interrogate first?
The teller.
172
What did Queen Guinevere’s rival say to her?
Share your love of Art.
173
Why is the mushroom a good date?
He was a fun guy.
174
How to praise a great chef:
Supperb!
175
Book ends, taking shelf-defense lessons.
