The Lizard of Oz: Chapter Five
Sir Real
Soon, the VW fell back into the pothole.
“Man, this is some trip,” said the Empty-Headed Pothead as he clung to the roof of the VW.
“Hey, there’s the witch again!” shouted Donny.
“Wow! What a broomstick. Like in Harry Potter,” said Mark. “Look at that thing go.”
“Do witches play quidditch?” asked Eugene.
“Please, Miss Witch, please,” pleaded Miss Osborne, as the Witch whizzed past, “please stop and explain …”
The witch called back, just before she faded from sight, “For a real meal, see Sir Real. Then egghead south to the Mouth of the Nile, and find the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth, for smiles and smiles, till suffer-time.”
“Oh, I do wish she’d explain herself,” said Miss Osborne.
“Quick! Do as she said,” urged Mr. Shermin. “Hit the gas now, or we’ll miss the intersection.”
Miss Osborne didn’t need Eugene to repeat what Mr. Shermin said. She heard him and, without hesitation, she hit the gas. Then she hit the brakes, and the car stopped. Somebody was standing in the middle of the road.
“Gosh,” said Donny, “that must be the cereal, like the Witch said. Instead of a head, he’s got a bowl of raisin bran.”
“The name is Sir Real,” said the man. “And that’s raisin brain.”
“Certainly, sir, certainly,” said Miss Shelby. “Donny didn’t mean to insult you. He just sees things the way they are; I mean, the way he’s used to seeing them. He’s got a lot to learn. We all have a lot to learn. But could you please tell us where we can find a restaurant? You see, we’re going to Oz and Ome, and it’s a long trip, and we’re all very hungry.”
“Well,” answered Sir Real, “you can get plenty of food for thought in the Library on the other side of the block.”
“What block?” asked Donny. “I don’t see a block.”
“Naturally. It’s a mental block. Just do as I say, and we’ll be there in a minute.”
So Sir Real climbed on top of the VW next to the Empty-Headed Pothead, and Miss Osborne hit the gas.
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Links to other chapters and the story of how this story was written.
