The Lizard of Oz: Chapter Fourteen
The Knights of the Merry-Go-Round Table
They spent the night there in the Easy One Fields. Achilles entertained them with tales of the Trojan Rockinghorse, and Miss Troy told about the beauty contests she had won. They sounded sad talking about the past, like they wished they could do the things they had done before over and over again, and be as great at everything as the first time around.
“How could you be so cruel?” Miss Osborne asked Mr. Minus. “Mr. Sisyphus, Mrs. Tantalus, Achilles the Heel, and Miss Troy are all miserable, each in their own way. How could you do that to them?”
“I didn’t do anything to them. They condemned themselves. They don’t learn. They keep making the same mistakes over and over again. They don’t move on.”
“But how could they move on?” asked Miss Osborne. “How could they know what to do or where to go any more than we do? There are no signs to point the way.”
“No signs? Of course, there are signs. I’m a sign. Minus is a sign, a very important sign. Without minus, there’d be no less. And without less there’d be no lessons and no learning.”
“Hey, just listen to that!” said Joey.
“What?” asked Achilles. “I don’t hear anything but that infernal music. Joy, joy, joy. Nothing but joy.”
“No, mister. This music is different,” insisted Joey. “Come on, everybody! I hear a merry-go-round. I’ll race you there.”
Joey went running up a nearby hill, and the rest of the kids chased after him. Miss Osborne, Miss Shelby, Mr.New Man, and Mr. Carroll rode in the VW, with Cindy, who had to be careful because she was carrying the fishbowl with Mr. Shermin.
From the top of the hill, off in the distance, they could see a carousel.
“That’s the Merry-Go-Round Table,” explained Mr.Carroll. “We must be in Camelot.”
“Hey, far out, man,” said Mr.New Man. “Just like in the book — The Knights of the Merry-Go-Round Table.”
The knights were riding on merry-go-round horses. Some were facing forward and others backward. They were playing chess with one another as they rode.
Mr.Carroll introduced them, “There’s King Arthur and Sir Percival and Sir Galahad and St. George and Sir Gawain and Sir Murray and Sir Prize and Sir Ridesalot and Sir Lancelot.”
“Gosh,” said Donny, “they’re as crowded as we are.”
King Arthur asked, “Who are these young knights who have come to grace our court?”
“The Knights of the Little Green VW,” answered Mr. Carroll.
And St. George asked, “Where are you going?”
“Home, St. George,” said Miss Osborne.
“Ome, St. George,” said the Redcoat Sergeant.
“To Oz and Ome,” answered Miss Shelby.
“Do you know the way?” asked St. George.
“We were told by a prince, I mean a frog, that we had passed a way,” answered Miss Osborne.
“Well, I sincerely hope that you can find it again. I always thought that there was only one true way — a long straight and narrow path, much too narrow for a VW, just wide enough to walk down single file. But the times are changing, and maybe there are new inroads and outroads.”
“We drove in through a pothole — a big hole in the pavement,” she noted.
“Yes, things have changed a lot up there. Why in my day, there were no pavements — just grass and trees for miles and miles.”
“And while we were flying down the pothole, a witch told us the witch way to Oz and Ome,” Miss Shelby added.
“Do you believe in witches?” St. George asked her.
“I never did before,” Miss Osborne admitted. “But the way this field trip has been going, I don’t know what to believe.”
“Well, you shouldn’t believe witches,” he advised. “They’re not to be trusted. They’ll answer your questions, but they won’t tell you the dangers or give you anything to defend yourself with.”
“I want to take these people to the next underworld,” added Mr.Carroll. “I think they’re so far lost now that only the Muses can show them the way to wherever they want to go.”
St. George offered, “While you’re here, I should give you some pointers on dragon fighting.”
“Dragon fighting?” asked Mark. “Couldn’t we have chess lessons instead?”
“I could teach you that,” answered Sir Murray. “Come on over here,” he told Mark. “I’ll teach you the dragon defense.”
“Dragons? What do dragons have to do with anything?” asked Miss Osborne.
“Well,” explained St. George, “if you do get to Oz and to Ome, you’re going to need to know dragon fighting. Of course, you could rely on trial and error, but I suggest you get whatever lessons you can.”
“But why dragon fighting?” asked Miss Osborne.
He answered, “In the midst of Oz lives the Great Dragon of Ome, the famous fire-breathing Lizard of Oz, the Leaping Lizard himself.”
Mr. New Man whispered, “Miss Shelby, what’s this about dragon fighting? You never said anything about dragon fighting.”
“Why, of course not. None of us wants to fight dragons. And I’m sure there are no dragons in Oz and Ome. But we’d better listen. It isn’t every day you get a chance to learn about dragon fighting from St. George himself.”
Everybody quieted down and listened to St. George as he showed them the upper cut, the back stroke, the breast stroke, the stroke of luck, and the stroke of genius. The other knights helped, too, correcting their moves, as the kids practiced again and again. Miss Osborne didn’t know what to think. Mr. Shermin had never mentioned anything about the Lizard of Oz being dangerous, and she still hoped to go home instead of to Ome. But just to be safe, she borrowed a pad of paper from a court scribe and took notes on everything St. George said.
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Links to other chapters and the story of how this story was written.
