The Lizard of Oz: Chapter Three
The Pothole
So far, everybody was having fun: bouncing up and down with the bumpy road, counting buildings and cars and telephone poles, and singing “Row Row Row Your Boat” and “Found a Peanut” and “The Ants Go Marching One by One.” At every intersection, Mr. Shermin flipped his magic coin with his flipper and said which way to go.
Then, just as the ants were marching a thousand by a thousand, the VW stopped.
“What is it?” asked Gaynell. “I can’t see a thing back here.”
“Gosh,” said Donny, “It looks like a pothole, but it’s huge.”
“Donny,” warned Miss Shelby, “don’t lean out the window.”
“But, Miss Shelby,” he answered, “this hole doesn’t have a bottom.”
Miss Osborne said, “It looks like the road to Oz is closed. Maybe we should go to the Children’s Museum instead.”
But Mr. Shermin said, and Eugene repeated, “No, Miss Osborne, we’re right on course. Straight ahead. Drive straight ahead. The magic coin just stood on end, and the magic coin is never wrong.”
Linda S. said, “I’ve been to the Children’s Museum, and it’s really nice.”
Nobody wanted to drive into a bottomless pothole.
“I don’t think driving into bottomless potholes would be very educational,” said Miss Shelby.
Miss Osborne was ready to turn around when Gaynell tumbled onto her, and the VW lurched forward and fell.
“Gosh,” said Donny, “the whole car rolled over.”
“It’s like we’re on an elevator,” added Gaynell. “Only there aren’t any lights to tell us what floor we’re on — no lights at all.”
“And we’re upside down,” said Donny.
Miss Shelby, who was on top now and trying hard not to squash anybody, explained, “No, Donny, we’re falling very fast and it just seems that we’re upside down.”
“But it’s dark,” said Kathy. “How can you tell if we’re right-side up or left-side up or upside down?”
“You’re right, Kathy,” admitted Miss Shelby. “But if we were right-side up and squashed against the ceiling, that would mean we weren’t just falling. If we were just falling, nobody would be squashed. We’d be weightless, like on a spaceship. We’d only be squashed like this if something stronger than gravity had hold of the car and were pulling it down. And things like that are impossible.”
“Eugene!” called Miss Osborne.
“Yes, Miss Osborne?”
“Ask Mr. Shermin which way we should go now.”
“Ask the next witch you see,” Eugene answered confidently.
“Witch?”
“Mr. Shermin says that down here, where there aren’t any streets to turn left or right or straight ahead on, his magic coin isn’t much good. But any witch can show us the witch way to Oz.”
All the kids started looking for a witch.
“Donny!” called Miss Shelby, “don’t lean out that window. You know perfectly well there’s nothing to see in all that dark.”
“But what’s that over there, Miss Shelby?” asked Donny.
“That’s a … a …”
“A witch, dearie,” answered the Witch, who was sitting on a bucket and riding a red broomstick. She had headlights on her head and footlights on her feet.
Before Miss Osborne could say anything to the Witch, the Witch said, “So you want to go to Oz.”
“How do you know?”
“What else would you be doing, flying down a pothole in a little green VW stuffed with sixteen people?”
Mark asked, “Why are you sitting on a bucket? It looks awfully uncomfortable.”
“All the latest models come with bucket seats. You don’t have much choice.”
Then the Witch leaned back, and started flying away.
“Wait!” called Miss Osborne. “Miss Witch, which way should we go?”
The Witch yelled back, “You’ll get ahead if you get a head; so go straight ahead, and get an empty head that’s gone to pot; then go behind, and you will find the spot you have in mind.”
“Whatever could she mean?” asked Miss Osborne as the witch’s lights faded in the distance.
“Well, hurry up. Do like she said,” Mr. Shermin ordered, and Eugene repeated, “Drive straight ahead, or we’ll miss the intersection.”
Miss Osborne couldn’t see any intersection or any road, and she knew they wouldn’t go anywhere if she hit the gas, but she did so all the same.
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Links to other chapters and the story of how this story was written.
