Truth and Consequences
Excerpt from “Why Knot?” Buy the book at Amazon
Over time, perspectives change. What we are proud of today, one day we may regret. And what we regret today may one day make us proud.
In many cases, if we knew beforehand the long-term effects of what we were about to do, we wouldn’t do it. But further in the future, the effects could be the reverse, and what we now dread might in a new context seem good and necessary.
As Heraclitus observed, you can never cross the same river twice. If you could relive any moment of your life, it wouldn’t be the same moment, because your knowledge and your motivation would be different.
When my Dad was 86, he had trouble sleeping. In his dreams, he revisited the decision points in his life and wondered why the consequences of his decisions turned out one way rather than another. He wondered whether he had made the right choices, and what could have happened if he had acted otherwise. He was heavy with regret.
I shared with him my belief that we all have natural proclivities, and that what seem like decisions often aren’t decisions at all. In our gut, we know what we have to do because we are who we are. The reasons we give for our actions are often rationalizations we cobble together afterwards. Yes, random events affect our lives. But, in many cases, such events only knock us off track temporarily, and then we continue toward the same goal by a different path.
There’s a shape to the landscape in which we live our lives, with mountains and valleys. As we approach a decision-point, if we go in one direction, everything gets more difficult and painful — we trip over ourselves; we can’t find the words; we forget things that we have to remember; we are at odds with ourselves. And in another direction the path feels right. If we go the first way despite the obstacles, we’ll face another choice and another. And sooner or later we end up doing what is natural for us.
Hence, we shouldn’t judge what we do based on what we believe will be the long-term consequences. Rather, we should do what we feel is best for now and do it to the best of our abilities.
Our lives are not as subject to random occurrences as at first appears, nor are we as much in control as at first appears. There is more to our lives than we are ever likely to realize, and that should inspire wonder, curiosity, and reverence.
