he goes left and you stay right
This is the spiritual message behind the song, How to Save a Life by The Fray — from my perspective as a healer, wife, and peacemaker.
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Many of us who are peacemakers have soulmate partners who challenge us. They become difficult to talk to. This is a prompt from Spirit to say Step 1, sit him down to talk. Otherwise you will yield because you love peace more than just about anything [except cake].
When he walks away in a huff, and he will, be firm and calm his fear. You stare, not with anger, but with presence, right on through.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
As he goes left brain — analyzing and measuring (fear and blame), and you stay right brain — calm, waiting for intuitive insight, detached from fear . . . you begin to wonder why you bother.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
When the bitterness takes over him, he’s lost. In that moment, it’s like losing a friend.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
When you have a successful run of bringing peace, prosperity, and calm to the family, you do know best in this arena.
Try to get past the defensiveness, without backing down, without taking it all back.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you
Lay down a list of what is wrong with the world’s approach, his approach, your own old approach to life that is ruining our health, our safety, our peace and freedom.
These things you’ve told him all along — love yourself, love others, pray for help in alignment with the divine plan, affirm it’s already done the instant you ask, go forward as though it’s done and if it isn’t done the way you asked, there’s a better way that you don’t understand.
And the irony is — when you do this, he’ll think you don’t care because you aren’t upset about marching in the war against drugs, the war against violence, the war against prejudice, the war against your neighbor, the war against your parents, the war against injustice, the war against war.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
When he raises his voice, don’t join him, lower yours. Grant him the choice of staying on the same path until he crashes or breaking with the ones he’s been following.
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came
He’ll either admit that yes, there has been a run of prosperity, ease, and calm. And that going left brain in a time that requires stillness and divine wisdom has run it’s course. It’s time to end it.
Or he’ll say he’s not the same as you. He can’t do it. He can’t control his emotions and he won’t dedicate the time and effort to figuring out why he keeps clinging to the old ways of fear and anxiety.
And then you’ll wonder why you came to be his soulmate, if you’re not going to help each other equally with your spiritual growth.