Cooking with Life

8/10/20, let’s give yourself time aplenty to devote to this Morning Page.
You woke and had a 9am call with your coach Kalem.
In it you were 5 minutes late and he helped you become aware
to the fact that when you take that tact
with all of your time commitments, people sense it.

They may not mention it or even register it,
but it still sits in their mind that sometimes
that their time might mean less to me than it does them.

To build trust and be trustworthy
it means to put in the work and see yourself as
someone who follows through on commitments.
You know yourself, you can always see in your mind’s eye
that you do try but often fall short
in being totally worth the weight of your words.

Maybe I just need to realize it’s all about taking one step at a time,
no need to promise the ability to run and fly.
No one else sees your skies,
they only see the tread and the path,
the way you trail-blaze with your inner wrath,
the phrases you utter, not what you mutter in closed breath.

So show up, don’t worry that in your haste and waste
you’ll end up throwing up nonsense and drivel.
In giving visibility to the me that is messy and honest,
the raw side of me that is exposed and vulnerable and tender
and wild with bed hair and a little sparkle in my stare,
I’ll help others realize they are not alone in feeling like they
are a hot mess sometimes, melting like wax over a kitchen stove.

The cooking of life, all the crazy weird ingredients
of starlight, laughter, tears, feeling shattered,
all sautéed together into a tangy and salty but filling mix,
then spread over a baked melange of understanding that
we can live in bliss if we remember that the butter of gratitude
is always with in reach,
the glue of attitude being the binding
we can construe to mean anything.

The question isn’t so much, “Is this tasty?” as it is,”Is this the me I like?”
Cause you’re the chef, the plater, the waiter, and the critical taster of your own life.
Sometimes that means you gotta switch up some ingredients,
or maybe you just need to try on a new palate,
turn this lame fruitcake into a delicious nutritious salad.

Man I must be hungry as f*ck
to have waxed on this long about food.
But I’m a hungry guy what can I say
the zest of life is never enough for me, I say.

Can I ever be satiated, satisfied?
At times I feel it, the expansive joy of feeling fulfilled,
when higher purpose calls in me and through me,
or when friends and family gather together
and I can enjoy amazing weather with these loved ones.

So, yes, I think I’m not always hungry. But right now, yes,
I am feeling a little lonely. Lost,
Feeling the cost of living life the way I do.
But I believe, I know, that I’ll pull through.
I’m relentless and smart about the things I really want,
and now what I want more than anything is a sense of wellbeing.

So I’ll figure this out, no doubt, I’ll get into this Monday
and build my own sense of inner clout
by following through on the things I said I’d do.

Also, I’m gonna go make some bacon. Peace ✌️