Notes from Tajikistan
I live in a small town in a developing country named Tajikistan. No matter of the impact of globalization where people nowadays are able to be open to all the new things and discoveries, and like a sponge absorb information and use it for progress and betterment, people in my community contrive to limit themselves in all possible ways. Basically community has produced fixed rules and moral behaviors that each member of it supposed to act according to them unquestionably. Even if these “codes” are absolutely irrelevant and harden our daily lives, people don’t question them and judge others who so to say don’t obey those traditions.
One common feature for every Tajik is to save money for the wedding of his/her child. Wedding in Tajikistan can follow with huge expenditures on series of pre-wedding, during and post-wedding events that involve participation of more that 100–150 people depending on the importance of the event. Expenses can include purchase of dresses, shoes, furniture, kitchen utensils, and presents for the future relatives and etc. The list can be endless. And all these supposed to follow with the ritual of their demonstration to neighbors, relatives, course mates, classmates and friends to receive their approval.
One would say that if a person desires to have a big wedding why not. That would be acceptable if financial costs are adequate, but when monthly income of the family is barely 300$, one should think before making any decisions. So in order to be able to conduct such events, parents are busy earning money and don’t pay any attention to the growing of their own children; they borrow money from friends or at a high interest from banks; they rather spend money on buying “belongings” than provide proper healthy food for family.
“When asked why you need to do this, the answer is quiet common: everybody does that; if I don’t do, I’ll be ridiculed by society.”
Being in such conditions there is no family planning and while one child’s wedding is dealt with, preparation for another marriage soon will arrive. In result, we observe not child-centered families where efforts of the parents should be directed to educating and cultivating all the necessary skills in their kids, but families where the main purpose is to please the public.
It would be normal if 10–20% of population had such a lifestyle, but this is a mass phenomenon. What about the development of the country? Who will generate future specialists, leaders? What about the attempts to understand the life and change it for the betterment? And then people sitting with the neighbors in the belvedere gossip about others and complain about hardships of living.
Once Leo Tolstoy said:
“People who can’t do anything should make people, and the rest should contribute to their enlightenment and happiness.”
Something to think about…
