3 Ways we Mom Judge
Why Oh why do we have to mom compete?! Or mom shame?! Or have moms mom-up someone because they don’t have kids of their own…yes I totally made up the word mom-up. I hope you know what I’m talking about and if not I’ll explain it in a bit.
Personally as long as your child is loved, fed and taken care of who am I to judge how it’s done? For real, why is it such a big deal if I raise my voice at my kids and you don’t? Fyi did you see my kid actin’ a fool in the grocery store…?
I can tell you that all of my friends parent differently. Want to know why? It’s because we all are different people with different personalities. Which is why we judge one another. What one parent does isn’t the normal in your house and vice versa.
1. The Mom shaming though, has. got. to. STOP.
Don’t make someone feel awful for spanking their child or raising their voice. Don’t shame fellow moms for saying no to their child, not spanking them, not yelling at them or using the hands on/hands off parenting style. Either way the kids will grow up and become the adults we shape them to be. They probably will do things you didn’t raise them to do and possibly parent opposite of how you did.
2. Mom competing is just dumb.
Now that we got that out of the way let’s talk about competing as moms with our kids…. because this drives me nuts. Every child is different and develops at a different pace. The mom competing seems to start right away, when our kids are BABIES. Are you kidding me?!?
My youngest is 5 months and I’ve already had a contests with other moms. You think I’m kidding, but I’m totally not. Hearing “my kid has teeth”, “my kid is eating foods”, “my kid is sitting up”… blah blah blah is just some of the competitions moms are trying to have with me. Well, my daughter IS doing some of those things but when she looks at me and smiles that’s all I care about.
I think parents stop viewing our kids as little people, who are unique and different in their own ways.My 3 year old daughter, who is wildly confident, has some friends with parents who like to have their kids compete with her: “My kid knows how to read, write, knows all their shapes”… and again blah blah blah! My oldest daughter is amazing and perfect in her own little way. Why? Because she is her own person.
So stahhhhppp with the competing please! Go get a hobby and do something for you! Because honsetly, you deserve to have something more to talk about than just your kids.
3. Mom-ups are the worst!
So last but not least let’s talk about the mom-ups! (Told you I’d explain it.)
It’s best to define this by giving a direct example: a man on Facebook complained after his oral surgery due to being in pain and the recovery being hard. INSTANTLY some random Mom jumped on and said “Well try recovering from child birth.” He NEVER mentioned childbirth, women, moms or anything…. he literally was complaining about being in pain and this Mom just HAD to jump on, she must have been waiting to mom-up some poor person that day. (Makes me wonder if she always mom-ups with childbirth randomly… if we could use childbirth to get away with everything we’d use it ALL DAY LONG.)
These poor people don’t even see it coming. They don’t even know how psycho a mom can be that hasn’t left the house in 2 days, no shower, same clothes, and trying not to become some sort of day drinker. They don’t know that struggle ….yet.
MAMAS! Do NOT take out your frustration and dull someone else’s light just because you lost yours. I’ve seen some of my non-mom friends share something on social media about how they did XYZ. That is when I see the mom-ups start rolling in… some snarky, some sassy and some just flat out mean! They either posted some place they went on vacation to, that they graduated from school, got a promotion at work or some other big life achievement. That should actually be celebrated instead of mom-upped!
Why do moms feel the need to mom-up non-moms?! Just because they don’t have kids yet doesn’t mean that they aren’t worthy of accomplishments. Maybe some of us are just jealous that they got to achieve whatever they did without the distraction of motherhood. Let them have their moment! We as mothers get to see our little achievements running around and getting into things daily. Everyone has it hard in different ways, please don’t always compare people’s achievements or struggles to your life as a Mom.
So to all the mamas out there, I love all of you to pieces but you know what I’m talking about. I absolutely know I am guilty of all 3. I also try to check myself because I know I am solid with who I am and how I parent. You should be too! If you are not, maybe pick up a parenting book or a hobby or do something that makes you feel good.
Because If Mama ain’t Happy, ain’t nobody Happy ❤
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