Becoming a Girl Mom
When I found out I was having girls many thoughts and fears went through my head. Not just the normal fears of becoming a mother and going through childbirth. They were thoughts about doing hair and makeup, teenage attitude, and my biggest fear of all… dating! Having boys sounded so much easier. I could deal with car talk, dirt and sometimes bugs. I grew up with brothers so this kind of stuff just came easy for me. Girl stuff… I really had no clue.
First of all, I am not a “tom boy” by any means. I like wearing dresses and putting on pretty shoes and my favorite color is even pink. Make-up and hair styling is what gets me. I’ve always been lazy when it came to that. I love just rolling out of bed, brushing my hair and maybe pulling it into an easy ponytail. When it was long I never once braided my hair or put it up in fancy buns. You can even ask my husband. I do not put my hair up in buns very well… I tried.
How am I going to do those things with my girls? Jael just started getting into the hair styling because her best friend always either has her hair up in pigtails, a ponytail or a bun. I have been trying to do a couple things but I am no where near perfect with it. Jael’s best friend’s mom even showed me a couple tricks, especially with the bun that I plan to try out. Luckily Jael just wants the single pony tail most of the time.
Make-up is another story altogether. The girls are only 4 years old and 18 months so it will be a long time until I even allow them to wear makeup. Honestly, I don’t even know what the “right age” for make up is anymore. I think my mom let me buy some in Jr. High but really did not give me any pointers. I also think I really didn’t know how to do my make-up until I was 20 when I went to a friends Mary Kay party. At that party I finally learned some tricks.
When my girls get to the age of make-up wearing I plan to do something similar, a make-up party or even paying someone to teach them from the Mall. This is because I only know basics, just being honest. I only wear it when my husband and I go out to a wedding or a nice date somewhere. I remember laughing at one of my best friends and thinking she was crazy because she woke up an HOUR before she really had to just so she could put on makeup to go to school. I never understood that. I always thought school was for learning and who was she really trying to impress? Even though I knew she was trying to impress her crushes, I guess I went about it differently.
I have a couple friends that are a little bit older than I am and they have preteen boys. I have heard many times from them and others that boys are easier than girls in the teenage years, mainly because they have less of an attitude. I don’t know if that is true or not? If it is, I can’t imagine Jael’s attitude even worse than it is now at 4 years old. I am in big trouble! It already irks me when she tells me no. I am also dreading the slamming of doors and the “I hate you Mom” or “the worst Mom ever” comments that I am sure will come later on.
My biggest fear of all is dating! I was always “boy crazy” as my family says. I had my first kiss in the 3rd grade, out at the black top during recess with my “first love.” That same year I became obsessed with Grease and more specifically, John Travolta. I thought he was the sexiest man alive!
In Jr. High and High school when having a boyfriend was an actual thing, my parents let me go on group dates. The boys would call the house I would have a different boyfriend every couple weeks. I was actually mad my 8th grade year when I wasn’t voted biggest flirt in our yearbook poll. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the biggest stress for my parents. I am sure they couldn’t keep up with who I was dating, although I was a “good girl” and didn’t do anything I really wasn’t supposed to be doing.
I know my parents, Dad especially, had double standards when it came to my little brother dating and me dating. For example he was allowed to have girls over but I was not in anyway allowed to have boys over without parent supervision until I was out of high school. This is one thing I told my husband we would never do if we had a boy and a girl. It would be equality in our house. Luckily we have two girls so it will be easier to do that way.
I just fear that my girls are going to look for a guy to make them feel loved and maybe do things they really are not ready to do in Jr. High and High School. I am nervous about not being able to give them “The Talk” very well, as I really never got much of one from my parents. I only had it at my school and that was mostly the science of it all. My church did something as well and that was: do not even think about doing anything until marriage. I hope I can teach them the right way to have a relationship. I want to show them how much they are loved here at home so they really don’t have to search for love in the arms of a man.
I do have to say being a mom of girls has been fun so far. I love that my girls like wearing dresses and they really do have such adorable outfits out for girls now. I recently got into sewing, I like being able to make them dresses too. I like the whole dress up stage and pretending to be “Mommy” by playing house.
Both of my girls from a young age have enjoyed dancing and I can’t wait to get Jael back into dance class this month. We plan to enroll Roz into dance next year when she’s a little bit older, only if she wants to. I feel like I live in a musical most days because Jael loves to sing about everything she does or sees.
I love that they enjoy the Disney Princesses. I can sit there and re-watch the same Disney movies I grew up watching with them and they enjoy them as much as I do. I am actually really glad neither of them are into bugs, I actually despise bugs. Very thankful I won’t have to worry about them bringing bugs in for me to look at.
Also, just because they are girls they still can do those fun activities that are labeled “boy activities.” For example, they love helping their Dad build things or help him look at the car. My husband has a remote controlled air plane he likes to take to the park when it is nice out and Jael asks him to take her all the time with him.
Even though the scary stuff really hasn’t happened yet and I know I am stressing myself out for no reason, I am learning day by day that I can do this. I can raise girls and it will be okay. So for the other moms who are having the same worries remember: we are all in this together and we will get through it! We are Girl Moms and we can do this!
-Rochelle
You can read more from Rochelle on her blog, Adventures of a Girl Mom. She also posts her daily adventures on Instagram too, make sure to follow her there!
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