Judging Moms
Being a young mom is hard. When people see me with my sons I feel like I instantly get dirty looks. I am only 22 years old and have a toddler and an infant. It also doesn’t help that I look like I am 15 too. People, normally older women, look at me and assume so many things. Most of these assumptions stem from me being a young mom.
Fighting with my 3 year old over clothes is a normal occurrence. He usually wants to wear something that is stained or too small. The last fight I had with him was interrupted by my husband. He came in and had to be the good guy, letting him wear what he wanted and making everything more fun. After my son was dressed my husband asked why I make such a fuss over what our son wears.
It shouldn’t really matter should it? After thinking for a while I realized why it matters so much to me. I don’t want to be judged. To make up for being so young, I try to dress my kids as neatly and perfect as possible. All of this just to let people know that they are taken care of.
When my son throws a tantrum in the store, as most toddlers do, I feel the judgement glares blazing down on me harder because of my age. I try way too hard to prove to others that I am a good mom… regardless of my age.
Why do I feel the need to do this? Why is my child’s happiness not enough to prove that I am a good mom? Why do I need others approvals so bad? In today’s world everyone’s opinion means everything…right?
Yes, I had my child at a young age but why would that make me a bad mom? Yes, my son has eaten 4 packs a fruit snacks today but he’s happy and healthy. No matter what I do it will never be the “right” way to do it in someone’s eyes.
I shouldn’t care, but I still do.
Every time I pull my son out of his car seat and he has something on his face I will fight him to clean it because I don’t want to be seen as a bad mom. When I am out and my son has a melt down because I said no to buying him a toy, I will always think “Don’t give in”. In those moments I also worry people will think I don’t buy him anything. On the other hand, if I do give in, will people think I spoil him too much?
I hate that this is a constant back and forth in my mind. Maybe it’s just me being paranoid? Or maybe it’s just the way I hear others being talked about?
Whatever the reason may be it needs to stop.
Letting my child have some independence shouldn’t make people look down on me. My child is healthy, happy, and has everything he needs…and more. That should be enough. That IS enough. I am a good mom. Now to convince myself it’s the truth…
You can follow Liz’s daily adventures through Motherhood on Instagram.
Feel the same way as Liz about not wanting to be JUDGED as a mother? Join us in by standing up with the MAMA Stamp Movement and help end the judging, shaming and assumptions we face as mothers.
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