I’m Calling it Cora

It’s just a small collection of cells at this point, about a millimeter long. It has no heartbeat yet, no brain, nothing that would suggest it is a human being, and yet I am its mother. And since I am a human being, it must be as well (at least to me). I am its mother. It is my child. And since I don’t like saying “it,” I will say “she.” Cora. If she turns out to be Joshua or someone else entirely, oh well. It will be an excellent story.

At not quite five weeks pregnant, I am mostly myself. I am not sick, overly hungry, or showing. I know I am pregnant in the usual ways: a positive pregnancy test and a missed period. Lacking those, I would still know by the slight snugness of my jeans, the slight pain when my toddler J nurses, and the slightly heightened emotions. I am slightly pregnant. Cora and I are just getting to know each other, and so far she is the perfect child. Her older brother J was just as perfect at this stage, so I have no doubt she will be a trial at some point. We are all trials to our parents at some point or another.

So far my favorite things during this pregnancy are technology and planning related. Apps like Glow, Pregnancy +, and the ubiquitous Babycenter have consumed my downtime. I finally have something big enough to motivate me to begin writing again, and all of the pregnancy knowledge I have stored away in the dusty edges of my brain has begun to resurface. I’m trying not to take advantage of my partner E’s tendency to pamper me, and I’m trying to eat a fruit, a veggie, and a green thing every day (ugh). We told my in-laws today and will tell my parents as soon as we get them on the phone.

The most exciting thing about this pregnancy so far is the chance for a planned home birth. We planned a home birth for J with our amazing midwife but ended up at the hospital due to preeclampsia. It was meant to be, however, as J has a chromosomal abnormality meaning a hospital birth was best for him. Everything turned out well in the end and I would not change things, but to have another chance at the perfect home birth we planned is a wonderful thing. I contacted my midwife the day I tested positive, and I’m looking forward to my first prenatal appointment next week with somewhat embarrassing enthusiasm. I’m also very excited to be sharing this second journey with an old friend, who is due about 6 weeks before me. We will both be planning home-births, and having a friend with me this time will be new and wonderful. I wish her and her family all the best.