To the Woman Who Loves Motherhood, But Doesn’t Feel Defined by It

Being fully immersed in the deep, sometimes treacherous waters of raising tiny humans is wondrous, yes—and occasionally overwhelming

I remember being in a conversation about working moms with a few people I know — comprised of both men and women — shortly after I had had my first child. I remember it so clearly because one of the men said, “If she’s working so much, what’s the point of even having children?” I was so taken aback. To me his comment screamed: Why would a busy working woman even bother procreating if she’s not going to dedicate herself wholly and completely to motherhood in every way, shape and form?

Like, if you’re going to be a mother, then just BE a mother. Be one with motherhood. Be all in. Forget about the other things. Right?

Wrong.

You know what I’ve realized in my five years of motherhood? When you throw yourself mind, body and soul into every. single. thing. motherhood, you’re likely going to lose sight of the uniqueness that makes you you.

Your “pre-mom” self is in the past along with sleeping in on Saturdays and spontaneous date nights. And the woman you thought you were now — this mom version of yourself — is buried so…