Want to Help New Families? Start by Supporting Mothers’ Mental Health

Statistics say one thing about postpartum mood disorders, but social media can say another

“Are you just loving being a mommy?” my friend asked me, cradling my newborn son in her arms.

The words lingered between us as I pursed my lips and tried to figure out how to respond. My son was 4 weeks old, and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling except tired, overwhelmed and numb. I knew the socially acceptable answer was a gushing “Yes! It’s the best.” But that felt hollow and foreign, so instead I broke the tension by saying, “Ask me on a day when I’ve had more than three hours of sleep.”

Four long months later I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. With the right support, education and combination of medication and therapy, I began to emerge from the dark cloud that hung over my transition to motherhood.

Even as I started to heal, I felt alone in my experience with an emotionally challenging postpartum experience. There didn’t seem to be any space for me in the common narrative of motherhood. In a world of gushing Instagram posts about “bundles of joy” and “lives changed for the better,” my story of grief and losing myself just didn’t seem to fit into this happy mold.