3 Things That Happened When I Started Budgeting
It actually changed a whole lot more than my bank account.
I have a theory about budgeting in late-stage capitalist America, and it is this: women have a harder time saving money than men. Ok, this hypotheses could be applied to all times in America, I imagine. At the most basic level, women are marketed to more than men—everywhere we turn there’s a new product to help us fix our hair, our body, ourselves. Additionally, women who have families tend to drive purchasing decisions for their entire family. It’s no surprise then, that Forbes.com reported that women drive 70–80% of consumer purchasing decisions.
Marketers and corporations rely on women spending and with this comes power. We have to wonder, what if we stopped spending so much and invested, instead, on our future selves? In my early 30s, when I was making six figures and responding very well to marketing tactics (YES, I needed that new dress. OF COURSE, I will meet you for a 3-hour brunch. YOU’RE INVITING ME ON VACATION? I simply must buy that plane ticket now!), I was somehow, broke.
So, I reigned in my spending and when I did, my life exponentially improved. It might seem ironic that spending less can be more expansive, but it works. If you’re in debt, or just over-spending, here are a few ways that getting ahold of your finances can set you up for a big life.
- You live in the present more.
Part of my overspending was about depression and apparently, I’m not alone. It’s proven that “retail therapy” can offer relaxation, escape and social connection, according to this piece in Psychology Today. The problem comes when we aren’t critical about what we spend on and aren’t tracking our expenses.
Once I began tracking my cash flow, I was able to stop “mindlessly” spending. Instead of numbing out, I clued in to each moment I swiped my debit card. Was this an item I really needed? Did it bring me joy? Ask yourself these questions, and watch your relationship with a budget improve as you become more empowered.
2. Your boundaries improve.
Speaking of empowering yourself, declining anything you don’t want or need to spend your hard-earned money on can be a great boundary-building exercise. Yes, it can be awkward to say no to family or friends’ invites and plans (especially the expensive ones that involve travel, gifts and celebrations). I can fairly say declining the dreaded 20-person birthday dinner has greatly improved my social life and has cost me zero friends. I just offer a more intimate and budget-friendly experience instead.
If you need more help on building boundaries around your spending, Erin Lowry of Broke Millennial fame wrote an entire book about it.
3. You get in touch with what you (actually) value.
Say what you will about dad advice, but there are some gems to be had. Especially from the Great Generation. Joe Biden has shared his dad’s wisdom in interviews with this quote, “Don’t tell me what you value. Show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” When you start tracking what you spend, and saying no to things you stop saying yes to because you’re in autopilot mode, you start seeing what you really value. And you get to know yourself better.
I spend all of my spare money investing in my two side hustles, because they make me happy and give me a sense of purpose. It was worth it to say no to vacations with friends or a new winter coat, so I could stick to my budget and buy a rental property. All of these “nos” added up to my big “yes,” and proved to me that I valued my dream more than smaller things that demanded more than I could spend.
Ready to be in charge of your cash once and for all? For more tips on being cheap and cheerful, follow me here on Medium and on Instagram @the.art.of.casual.cooking.
