5 Traditions I Still Don’t Understand About American Christmas
I thought the tone-deaf things white people say to Africans about Christmas was the weirdest thing about the American holiday season, but it turns out, there are more stranger things.
When my family landed in America from Kenya, many ions ago, it happened to be during Christmas time. And of course, the first thing many white people asked in regards to the season was whether we celebrated Christmas in Africa. Even though my family, who’ve been devout Catholics for three generations, always said yes, these inquiring minds would often proceed to white-Christian-explain Christmas to us. With big smiles plastered on their faces, they gave numerous toys and clothes to us (not mad at that) but they could have kept the explanations to themselves. Not just because they were condescending and white-saviorish, but most of the questions and comments were plain ridiculous. One time, a girl I went to school with said that it’s not a real Christmas without snow. Very untrue, since there are plenty of countries without snow. Also, half the world isn’t freezing cold in December; it’s actually very hot.
Over the years, I’ve become accustomed to the tone-deaf things white people say to Africans and immersed myself in various American Christmas traditions. However, there are some, like the five listed below, that I still do not understand.
I) Santa Claus
This is by far the weirdest thing about American Christmas. Young children sitting on an old white man’s lap in exchange for gifts. This gives off strip club vibes.
When I was living in Kenya, I was intrigued by American Christmas movies where a big, fat, old, white man with an ungroomed and overgrown beard named Santa Claus came down the chimney and left presents for children. I asked my mother why Santa never came to our house even though we had a chimney. Through a long-winded soliloquy, she effectively said Santa Claus was for white people and/or rich people.
However, when we moved to America, she took my little sister to go see Santa at the mall. In a roundabout way, that sort of proved her argument about Santa being only for white people since my sister was the only Black child in a long line of white kids.
Years later, as an adult, I still find the whole concept of Santa Claus weird. Irregardless, this hasn’t stopped me from dressing up in inappropriate Mrs. Claus costumes to take Instagram thirst traps or to go to the club/ parties (pre-Covid).
I propose we throw out Santa Claus & replace him with Mariah Carey. She already has her own iconic Christmas song, does actual gift giving through charity, is a billion times better looking, and honestly, it’s less creepy to watch a kid sitting on Carey’s lap than some old guy at the mall.
II) Christmas music
As an artist, I appreciate the wide variety of talent expressing Christmas joy through music. As a human being, I don’t get why there are so many Christmas songs. In 2014, there were 914, 047 Christmas tracks on Spotify. The reason for this number being so high, and growing, is because multiple artists release different versions of the same songs. I guess kids won’t know Santa Claus is coming to town unless a hundred singers shout it over the radio a thousand different ways.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas music. I still own Christmas CDs and a cassette. My top five are Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and “Silent Night,” and Celin Dion’s “Feliz Navidad,” “Christmas Eve,” and “Oh Come All Ye Faithful.”
Despite how beautiful these songs are, I feel that Christmas music in general is a little bit overdone. When played in the beginning of November, it’s a fun way to get everyone into the Christmas spirit but by the second week of December, my ears are bleeding and I have a migraine from hearing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” every time I walk into my favorite Ross clothing store.
I propose a later start date for the music, say mid-December, and a limit of which artists should sing Christmas songs, and how many they should be allowed to do. Not every artist needs to record their own version of “White Christmas.”
III) “Happy holidays”
“Happy Holidays” is supposed to sound inclusive and P.C. but it’s pointless since Christmas takes center stage anyway, and all other holidays are an afterthought. Christmas sales, movies, concerts, albums, charity events, costumes, festivals, parties, work bonuses, books, TV specials and regular show episodes, and social media challenges dominate the holiday season. Christmas Day is also the only religious holiday in America that is recognized as a federal holiday, despite Christianity not being the only religion in America.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who would like all of Hanukkah to be declared a federal holiday. I mean who doesn’t want eight whole paid days (or double pay if you still have to work.) Or Kwanzaa since it starts the day after Christmas and goes til January first. Congress made Juneteenth a federal holiday this year, why not kick it up a notch and add Kwanzaa to the list? Or if you think that’s too much time off work, how about Diwali since its only five days? And for the people with zero religious affiliation, a special day designated to celebrate whatever they want. Don’t they deserve recognition as well?
Growing up in Kenya, the holidays observed around Christmas time were a stark contrast to America. We have Independence Day on December 12, Christmas Day, then Boxing Day on the 26th and finish it off with New Year’s Day. (New Year’s Eve wasn’t a big deal to kids.) Furthermore, instead of semesters, schools are divided into three terms, starting January and ending in November. During the whole month of December, there’s no school. Oh, and since Kenya is on the other side of the world, right on the equator, it’s like having Christmas in the summer. Lastly, Eid-al-Fitr, the festival marking the end of Ramadan, is recognized as a public holiday, even on years it doesn’t fall on the Christmas season.
Recognizing religious, non-Christian holidays in America as federal holidays wouldn’t be just extra days to skip work and/or school. It would go a long way to make our fellow citizens feel a little more included in “Happy Holidays.”
IV) All those gifts
I don’t remember much gift giving from my childhood because we didn’t have much money and even if we did, it’s not really a thing in my culture. When we moved to America, my parents felt obligated to do it for my younger brother and sister (seven and two at the time) so they’d stop feeling left out when all their classmates bragged about what they got. Of course whatever my siblings received was no match for the other kids. Our mom and dad had to scrap to get them gifts from sales at the cheapest store while their classmates’ parents spent days scavenging the entire mall for the best presents.
The first time I saw these parents rush in and out of stores felt like I was in a jungle. Though this was, and still is a shock to me, it’s a completely normal American phenomenon. People spend so much money buying Christmas gifts, they go into debt. This year, Americans are spending an average of $886 on Christmas gifts while 41% of people are willing to take on debt due to holiday shopping.
Yet, despite all that spending, 23% of people label their own friends as a source of unwanted gifts, 44% of Gen Xers dislike their gifts, and in 2019, 34% of Americans returned their gifts. Ouch.
As if that isn’t enough of a sting, some people get so stressed buying gifts the act of giving becomes resentful. Others feel pressured to get gifts for people they don’t like (such as in-laws.) And an unlucky few find themselves in the awkward position of accepting gifts from someone they’d rather not.
I would not want a present from someone who doesn’t like me or felt compelled to buy me something or had ill intentions with the gift. That’s a bad omen and I’d rather not have that type of negativity, even if it’s expensive and wrapped in a bow. Also, I hope I never put someone in a position to receive something from me that they didn’t want.
I’m not suggesting we cancel gifts all together, but a little restructuring of this tradition wouldn’t hurt. A budget and buying the gifts much earlier in the year would save money, time and stress. Also, consider limiting the number of recipients, such as cutting out the cousin-in-law you see once a year or that one friend who always tries to one-up everyone else with extravagant gifts.
V) Office Christmas parties
This is just ridiculous, considering that globally, more than 85% of people, meaning roughly six billion, are unhappy with their jobs. In America, 70% of employed workers hate or are disengaged with their jobs. And 1 in 3people might consider quitting because of coworkers they can’t stand. Given these gloom statistics, it makes no sense to spend even a minute of the most precious time of the year at a work party. Not to mention office Christmas parties aren’t even paid. Furthermore, since some companies will do Secret Santa or play White Elephant, people are buying gifts for colleagues they can’t stand, with money they don’t have.
I got lucky at my previous job and didn’t have to deal with any of that. I worked at a company that was so cliquey, instead of having a mandatory office Christmas party for everyone, the manager and some coworkers would form ‘secret’ secret Santa groups and have separate parties (at clubs or restaurants) that excluded those who weren’t in the clique.
Parties are supposed to be a time to let loose, go reasonably wild and have fun but it’s hard to do that at an office Christmas party when you’re worried about if your actions might jeopardize your job. If you get too drunk, there’s a high chance of committing a fireable offense, such as announcing that the boss’ hair is a rented toupee or getting into a fight with that annoying coworker who thinks he’s everybody’s supervisor. Also, boundaries could easily get crossed and lead regrettable hook ups. Lastly, given how many people hate their jobs and coworkers, it’s obvious that most are faking it, just like they do at work, which ends up feeling as though one is still clocked in.
To avoid such situations, it’s just easier to abolish office Christmas parties and give all employees a bonus. And by bonus I mean cash, not company-themed stuff like mugs or backpacks.
Thank you for reading. Wishing happiness, joy, and love to you and your loved ones and Happy New Year!
