7 Reasons People Stay in Toxic Marriages
Is it fear that keeps us trapped?
“My marriage is so terrible right now. It is tearing me down to the point where I feel like I can’t go on. I know I need to leave but I can’t. I feel so ashamed for staying. How do I leave?” This was a voice message left for me by one of my podcast listeners. Her sadness, vulnerability, fear, and sense of shame both broke my heart and felt terribly familiar. I had been feeling the same feelings a decade ago before I finally got divorced. So, why do we stay in a toxic marriage when we know that staying is destroying us?
What makes a “toxic marriage”? A toxic marriage is a marriage that has more bad times than good times because your partner does not consider your needs. You may be fighting and angry more than you are calm and peaceful with each other. There may be infidelity. There may be abuse: mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse. You may have grown so far apart that you no longer have anything in common. You may be hurt by each other more than you are comforted. Whatever the reason, the dynamics in the marriage are harming you.
As a life coach who has lived through a toxic marriage and even more painful divorce, I have come to realize that there are essentially 7 reasons we stay in a bad marriage. This is by no means an exhaustive list but it does seem to resonate with most…
