A sweater.
The compassion-attachment duality
“Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related.
What is the spiritual definition of compassion?
The spirit of the word compassion is synonymous with doing. Compassion is not concerned with material or physical things. It’s concerned with the human spirit and soul. The spiritual definition of compassion involves acting to alleviate the suffering, of others.
The etymology of compassion is Latin, meaning co-suffering.
Compassion is important because it promotes meaningful connections, facilitates problem-solving, and improves health and wellbeing. Compassion, at its core, is about putting aside judgment and refusing to turn away from challenging situations.”
In my experience the sad reality is that human beings are inherently not compassionate!
Imagine yourself in a scenario where it is the chilling winter , you come across a person shivering in the cold. You have 5 sweaters in your cupboard. Instinctively, you feel bad for the individual. You empathise with the poor soul. You might even ponder over the harshness of this world and how unfair life is for some people.
You have already donated your old clothes to charity earlier that month and the 5 sweaters you have now are your favourite ones. You need them . And you understand that you cannot help everyone in the world. You walk home, with a heavy heart but with satisfaction that you are a good person. You can empathise with another suffering soul but you do not have enough left to give !
Is that really true?
Did you not part with the sweater because you need it or because you want it?
We believe we are compassionate. We donate old clothes, used slippers , old food and medicines . We believe we are doing a good thing. And we are, in a way.
But are you willing to share the suffering of another soul just enough to rise above the pull of attachment ?
Attachment is simply “a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like; devotion; regard”.
Attachment , so simple in its definition and yet it holds more power over the human race than any other word in the english dictionary.
What choice would you have made ?
- Compassion
- Attachment
It is not a simple question, quite the opposite actually.
I do not have an uncommon amount of humanity bubbling in me but I have the conviction to be honest, to realise I am only human.The scenario I mentioned happened with me recently and I can assure you as a first instinct I did not want to part with my sweater. I was only left with the ones that had an emotional value to them anyways.
In the end , I did!
But that is not why I want to share the story.
I want to share the story because even though I knew that some one actually needed a piece of clothing more than me, my brain gave a million arguments within a fraction of a second to hold on to one piece of cloth!
Maybe I did not emphasise the power of attachment enough !
And to be transparent : although I did help that individual this one time, I am still not sure how many more times I can do that again in life.I want to share this incident to emphasise that as humans, we are born to be selfish. Our first instinct is always “I”.
A true act of compassion from us is rare. So rare in fact that a true act of compassion makes you realise just how selfish you truly are , how selfish we all are.
And that is nothing to be ashamed of but it is certainly something to be aware of.
Behind all our wise words , and our compassionate beliefs, we are so overpowered by attachments that our basic instincts are to turn our backs on the suffering of others. And although harsh, that is the truth of the world we live in, it is our collective truth, you and me included.Until we understand that , we can never work towards a better future.
Word of advice: Try giving some one something that you love just once- something you do not need yet something you really want.
Help some one who needs it more. You will learn a valuable lesson on the power of attachment and the depths of selfishness inside each one of us!
Apparently, even the ones out of us that consider ourselves as decent human beings!
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