Do you have a self recovery mechanism ?

Having lived for more than 37 years now when I look back at my life I realize a lot of incidents that nearly broke me multiple times. Also it makes me wonder how did I manage to deal with it ?We all have our own self recovery mechanisms which is a pattern we have created throughout our lives.

In my case I particularly realized that my best self reconstruction and recovery happens when I isolate myself . I have tried staying with people ,going on trips ,buying things ,etc etc but none of them works .

Whenever I’m hit with something unpleasant in life I started to realize that I need to do self reconstruction .My inner calling is to be with myself by my own .

Following starts to happen when i do that:

1. Unpleasant reality of the situation hits me on the face.
2. I forced to acknowledge the entire thing as it is.
3. In the whole game I’m also forced to realize what my role was if any in creating or allowing this problem to occur.
4. All of this makes me feel really really bad about life
5. I start going down hill
6. A couple of days pass
7. Then one day I realize what the hell am I doing to myself
8. I slowly start to take accountability and accept the situation as it is
9. I start to tell myself this is not the end get up and get going
10. I look at what is remaining of the situation ,what is in my hand and start to take actions
11. Finally I slowly and steadily accept and move on.

Well there is no one way of doing it ,this is entirely my way I need to talk to myself to reason out ,to self blame to accept what is as is .

Looking back now I realized that self isolation was my biggest source and mechanism of recovery even unconsciously and this is the only way it works for me where first I get more miserable and then i get out .

However if I'm forced to stay with others when hit by a trauma I don’t even get a chance to self reflect or get deep inside of me and everything messes up more though on the exterior it looks like i have support.

Exactly 3 years back in the same time I was hit by the biggest trauma in my life ,it was like the feeling of nothing existing anymore in life.

I tried staying with family ,extended family ,i tried taking random trips ,I tried meditation retreats etc etc but did any of it work ?No ,because I was looking for external support and validation to fix my internal issues .One day I realized this isn't working for me and decided to get back to my place and work and being with myself .

Did it go well ?No immediately the being alone started taking over me -I started having sleepless nights ,went on sleeping and anxiety pills as all of it started creating a vicious circle .This was a big gamble i was playing with myself but deep down i knew if there is anyway to recover it is only this .

Slowly later my cycle started to repeat I started going down completely and then i started coming back up ,helping myself in the process and now I'm totally out of it ,no medication ,have the best life i could ever have and I’m at peace .

Honestly this is only my way to self recovery ,but everyone has their own ,to some being with family ,to some change of place, to some changing jobs etc etc brings in the required reconstruction they are looking for in life.

Tell me have you ever realized looking back in your life what has been your pattern of recovery ? Please do share ,would love to know .