Factors to Consider in Developing Compassion for You
We all deserve to be treated with that TLC. Tender Love and Care. Here is how to do so.
Being compassionate matters. It sounds obvious but in life, it’s not always as straight-forward as we want it to.
I found that with myself, I am quick to show compassion and love to others, but I can get critical about my own shortcomings.
I am learning how to be compassionate to myself. I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to this but here are a few strategies that I continue to utilize.
Check the Way You Talk to Yourself
One of the ways that I learn to develop compassion for myself is by being mindful of how I speak to myself.
Truth be told, I didn’t come to this realization by myself. Through support from books and counselling, I started to become more aware of negative speaking patterns towards myself.
Being compassionate is treating yourself with kindness. It is speaking to yourself as you would a child or your best-friend.
It’s not allowing that critical voice take-over and make you feel as though you are inadequate.
Consider A Different Positive Outcome
Being compassionate can sometimes mean being open-minded to consider a different outcome.
At times, my mind can dwell on the worst-case scenario but when I choose to see a different perspective, it makes a difference on my behavior, my actions.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should live in la-la land 24/7. Sometimes, the reality of a situation can be bleak. It’s alright for you to acknowledge the truth.
However, even in acknowledging the truth, give yourself room for hope that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
As long as we wake up and continue to live and breathe, we must continue to hope.
Focus More on the Present Moment
Sometimes, the level of compassion that we give to ourselves is affected by our ability to remain present.
We are triggered by the past and anxious about the future but all we really have is right now.
I’m currently reading ‘‘The Power of Now’’ by Eckhart Tolle. I love how the book emphasizes on focusing on the present moment because it is all we truly have.
The author writes that ‘‘It’s about realizing that there are no problems. Only situations — to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the ‘‘isness’’ of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with.’’
The way I interpret that is that we can only resolve what is presently happening to us. We deal with the situation by incorporating action towards it. If the situation can’t be dealt with, then it’s not an issue worth focusing on.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Another way to develop compassion for yourself is to acknowledge your emotions. We don’t all do this. I’m guilty of this because sometimes we don’t want to dwell on moments that make us sad or cause us to cry. It’s not a great feeling.
Yet, what is needed is to confront that negative feeling. I’m learning to confront my negative feeling. This looks like me not avoiding the emotion. It’s admitting how I felt in a situation. It’s allowing myself to express the emotions by crying or writing. It’s trying to do better by challenging the emotion.
Don’t Make Excuses for Your Joy
Compassion can also mean that you don’t make excuses for why you can’t be happy. We all know what makes us happy. It doesn’t always have to be big things. It doesn’t have to be travelling around the world and living luxuriously.
Your joy can be found in the little things such as stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance on your dreams. It could also be trying a new hobby.
Compassion is needed in life but sometimes we give so freely to others and then neglect what we so desperately need for ourselves.
Let’s try to be more compassionate to us. It starts with words of kindness and acceptance. Then, it moves towards actions that reflect what is needed for peace and contentment. It’s a continuous practice of being good to you.