How To Get Your Point Across in Effective Ways
Plan, document, and stay calm
I have always struggled with calmly expressing my thoughts and managing my temper during debates. I think I inherited my anger from my grandmother, who never learned how to control her temper.
I’ve learned three main ways to successfully express my opinions without losing my cool.
1. Plan and write your thoughts on a notepad
A few months ago, I received an incorrect bill, and the company’s customer service representatives weren’t helpful. This simple issue, which should have been easy to fix, made me cranky and irritated. I wasn’t clearly expressing my thoughts while I was arguing, and at the end of this day, my issue wasn’t resolved.
The next day, I decided to write down my main message and strong counterpoints to the representatives’ arguments. When I called the company again, my written notes helped the representatives understand my issue. Organization is the key to success.
2. Emphasize the evidence
Many people won’t agree with your point if you don’t have any proof to support your claim; make sure to prepare any documents or screenshots of evidence.
A few weeks ago, I received an email notification from Amazon saying that I did not return an item, which I returned several months ago. I was confused and called the Amazon representative who asked me for a tracking number to prove my returned item. Unfortunately, Amazon’s return center never gave me a receipt.
I was annoyed and claimed I never received a tracking number. Then, I realized complaining wasn’t going to help with my problem. I decided to look through my older emails and found two confirmation emails about my returned item. After I reported my findings, my issue became resolved. Emphasizing your documents can help you win your case.
3. Don’t yell
This advice sounds easier said than done, however, I’ve discovered how helpful this technique is.
“Arguing isn’t communication, it’s noise.”
- Tony Gaskins
There is a difference between yelling and raising your voice; yelling at someone involves anger, and raising your voice is a clear way to highlight your argument or point. I’ve noticed yelling in an argument doesn’t help me, because this action influences others to follow it.
I raise my voice to emphasize my reasons and evidence, but this calmer habit is not always easy to commit to. No one is perfect and humans tend to get angry during disagreements, but there are calmer ways that can help your voice be heard.
We all want others to understand our thoughts, and many of us have overreacted during small disputes. However, you shouldn’t let a person or disagreement stress you out. Expressing your ideas with a calm attitude is probably the best strategy in several situations. Creating an outline of your argument, saving your evidence, and avoiding hostility are some helpful ways to get your point across.
Originally published at http://jennifermk.org on December 30, 2021.
