Motivate the Mind
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Motivate the Mind

I Said Something Weird in the Middle of My Workout

I didn’t expect it to come out of my mouth.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Whenever you work out, what do you hear? Groans, moans, yelling.

Arrrghhhh!
Uggghhh!!!
Ahhhh!!!

Yup, those are pretty much the sounds that come out of my mouth when I work out.

During one of my exercises two weeks ago, in the middle of the grunts and mountain climbers, the words “I love you, Cass” rolled off my tongue.

I was caught off guard. I felt a little dizzy. Dizzy with love for myself. Dizzy with confusion as to why I would say that and how that even happened.

I felt warmth surge from my belly to the rest of my body while my brain is still comprehending the moment that just passed. A kind of warmth that’s unusual and alien to me. It felt good. Strange but good.

For the first time, I didn’t feel narcissistic for saying these four words. I felt empowered. I felt invincible. I could do anything. I could finish my workout.

I’m ready to conquer the day!

I’ve tried saying these words before. I could never say them out loud. They felt disgusting. They make me nauseous. Because I didn’t believe in them. Yet, I would preach to my friends to love themselves and take care of their hearts, mind, and soul. I have a lot of baggage and insecurities of my own. While I’m preaching to them, I know I’m also talking to myself.

That day, I felt the power of the four words. I felt loved. I felt strong even when I was weak. My focus has finally shifted from my weaknesses to my strengths. It gave me motivation. It’s been a while since I felt accomplished especially when work doesn’t seem to end.

Was it life-changing? In a way, but not really. Nevertheless, it opened a new box of sensations I’ve never felt before. It helped change my perspective on certain things about myself. It was enlightening. I never knew I was capable of saying those words and actually meaning them.

I love you, Cass!

Have I said these words again after that? No, I haven’t. Maybe it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Maybe it will happen again. Should I force myself to say it? Maybe. Maybe it’ll work for some people. Maybe if they say it enough times, their views of themselves may change. At the moment, I can’t yet for myself. But this is a step in my opinion. It might have been unintentional but at least I know now that I’m able to say these words out loud.

We all have things to work on ourselves. Big ego, pride, self-confidence, apathy, worrying too much, etc.

Self-love is my life’s learning journey. There are a lot of other things I have to work on. Self-love is just one of them. Probably the biggest challenge in my life. I hope it won’t be perpetual. I need to work on other areas as well.

Here’s to growth. And here’s to loving all parts of myself — the good and the bad.

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

Instagram: @justwildcass, @casswildcat

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