I wish I had not answered that call…
What is “good”? Life and interpretation does it!
I wish my phone were right there, in an empty room…a notepad above it said, “Do Not Answer That Call!” written in bold, red ink. Then, maybe, the past two hours would’ve been different! Maybe, I would not have all these thoughts in my head, “Did I do good to myself?” “Was that and this reply necessary?” And, “I should not have said or laughed like that!” One phone call, 30 minutes conversation, 120 minutes uncertainty. Logically, it does not make sense. Mathematically, it does not add up. So, why am I struggling to get over it?
Then…I went on searching for quotes as I always do when I feel a bit uncertain and low. This quote stood out, “ The true beauty of life can only be seen by the eye of habitual positive interpretations of one’s experiences.” It did not say who wrote it, but it is exactly what I need. There is no certain answer to my struggle, to my questions, to my doubts, to this uncomfortable pang feeling in my heart. In fact, maybe, there is no answer at all! Was the conversation really awful? Was I talking too much? Was I not supposed to say somethings I said? Or,
maybe…just maybe…that phone call meant to happen. It meant for me to answer it, it meant for me to say what I needed to say, it meant for me to speak my intentions…the other person meant to say what they meant to say, meant to speak their intentions, nothing more and nothing less. The true beauty of answering the call lies on what the next conversation would be like, it lies on how I see, feel, and think of the experience, and it determines on what relationship I would be having with the person.
Mark Hearon wrote, beautifully put, “Life doesn’t persist because it comes by all the answers. It persists in spite of having them.” Mark, thank you!
I said to myself, “It’s a gorgeous sunny day outside…a bit chilly, but the sun shines brightly…get off the computer, stop writing, go outside, and take a walk!” That’s what I will do…no phone…just me…and I’m going to do what I like to do, “smile, wide!” just like Yousuf Rafi said on his article about 9 daily habits to keep one’s youth…thank you Yousuf!
